You think you’re a man

So this isn’t a story about weight lifting and being masculine.

It is a story about drive.

A few weeks ago at the Kettlebell Competition, I met a client of another trainer at the gym.

When I introduced myself, he said, “Oh so you’re the Cori that did the VersaClimber stuff!”

I probably blushed a little and said, “Yup.”

He then said to me, “Yea we hear all about you all the time at the 5 a.m. hour! You were so driven…It’s like you thought you were a man you pushed so hard!”

I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped open, although I didn’t have a mirror to confirm this.

Because I really really wanted to accomplish my goal and pushed hard, I must have thought I was a man!?!

UHMM…

I laughed awkwardly and walked away quickly. I had no idea how to respond. I was completely floored.

Yes…I am super driven. I won’t let anything get in the way of me accomplishing my goals.

Yes…I am super competitive. I don’t like losing even if it is just to myself.

But how does being those two things mean I acted like a MAN!?!

Why is being driven and competitive supposedly masculine?!?

I must say, I’m pretty sure it’s not since I’ve been this way for like….EVER.

And I’m also pretty sure I’m female…yep…I checked…I’m female.

Still thinking back on the incident, I’m completely at a loss for how to respond.

All I can do is think about all of the times I’ve then supposedly acted like a man.

Like when training for the VersaClimber challenges. Or the battling ropes. Or the powerlifting competition. Or college tennis. Or the kettlebell competition…

Or like during max out tests in college….

We did max out tests at certain points throughout the year to test our fitness progress.

Hang cleans were always super frustrating for me and I’d been really really working to get my max up so that I hit 100lbs.

I at least wanted to hit 95lbs and thought 100 wasn’t out of the question since I’d been able to fairly easily do 90.

But when I went up to that bar, I just couldn’t get 95lbs. My pull was good, but for some reason, I just wasn’t able to coordinate a good sink underneath it.

I was stuck at 90lbs, which was super easy and only made it more frustrating that those 5 pounds made the lift completely impossible.

And so what did I do because I couldn’t hit my goal?

I cried.

There are very few things that will make me cry in public.

Serious injury might do it.

Someone dying might do it.

But well…failing at hitting my goal will ALWAYS do it.

Why?

Because I’m driven and competitive.

Failing at hitting a personal goal even if no one around me cares about it will 100% of the time make me cry.

It did when I missed that hang clean.

It did when I missed my goal at the KB competition.

And what about that makes me a man? Is it the involuntary crying? Is it the fact that I care about my goals enough to put everything I’ve got into them? Is it the fact that I want to succeed?

I mean seriously…explain it to me…because I sure as heck don’t get it.

It’s funny…I was typing in stuff searching for a cartoon and this is what came up when I typed in manly woman. AHHH!

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Posted on February 23, 2013, in Uhm? and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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