Paleo is a joke

I LOVE talking about diet and exercise.

I LOVE when people find out I’m a trainer and then ask me a ton of questions.

I LOVE when people ask me about my diet or exercise program.

I HATE when people tell me they’ve started doing Paleo and then tell me about the latest Paleo baked good they made.

Are you a sucker for Paleo products? HELLO! People are making money off of you…they don’t care about your health!!!

To me Paleo and baked good (aka sweets) can’t legitimately be used in the same sentence unless you are saying you’ve switched to Paleo and only eat baked goods on cheat days now.

Paleo baked goods…those three words combined like that make me want to scream.

Paleo has become a joke.

The whole point of Paleo or Primal is to eat WHOLE, NATURAL FOODS. To eat meat, fruits and vegetables and cut out all of the processed crap and sugar.

The whole point of Paleo is to make you healthier and reduce the inflammation in your body.

The whole point of Paleo is NOT to make a less bad for you version of traditional baked goods.

If you are TRULY doing Paleo you aren’t eating freaking Paleo muffins or Paleo pie or pizza.

You aren’t baking with almond flour or using a ton of honey or maple syrup to sweeten things. You aren’t buying “gluten-free” processed products.

Why AREN’T those things truly Paleo!?!

Because they totally miss the point!

It’s true…nothing is ACTUALLY paleolithic, but the point of the diet is to cut out all of the crap and eat naturally raised products!

For example, the reason the Paleo/Primal diet tells you to cut out grains is because of the inflammation grains cause which is what causes cholesterol to build up in the arteries and cause heart problems.

Grains also contain phytic acid, which hinders your body from absorbing many vitamins and minerals.

Guess what also contains phytic acid?


So when you eat your normal serving of 1/4 cup of almonds you are fine…BUT a pizza made from almond flour!?!

That is a ton more than the 1/4 of a cup you should be eating.

And that means a TON OF PHYTIC ACID!!

You cut out grains because someone doing the Paleo diet told you to, BUT you didn’t understand WHY you were supposed to cut out grains. So you end up making your freaking Paleo almond crust pizza and get the exact crap that the Paleo diet is supposed to help you eliminate from your diet.


So because most people don’t really UNDERSTAND the point of the Paleo diet…because people don’t really understand why the diet has them cut out certain foods…because people just do it because their friend lost weight doing it…People end up destroying the diet and eating crap that is disguised as being “Paleo.”

Basically, don’t tell me you are doing Paleo or Primal if you are going to tell me about the latest cookie, pie, pizza, muffin or WHATEVER that you just made.

Don’t tell me you won’t eat cheese or rice because it isn’t Paleo and then freaking go eat gummy worms because they are gluten-free.

Don’t tell me you don’t eat beans (which you probably don’t even realize you don’t eat because they contain phytic acid) and then go eat farm-raised salmon or coconut milk with a ton of extra additives.

Come on!

Understand why the heck you are doing something! Farm-raised salmon is just about the WORST thing you could possibly eat!!!! It is like Paleo 101 that you eat NATURALLY RAISED animal products!

And if you are going to buy something like coconut milk, READ THE FREAKING LABEL.

Ok…deep breath…I’m done.

Now all of you recent Paleo bandwagoners…go ahead and tell me why I’m wrong…I dare you.

Posted on February 18, 2013, in Conventional Wisdom - How I hate you, Diet, Uhm? and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Paleo ice cream has now joined Atkins bread in my pantheon of Diet Products That Miss The Whole F-ing Point of the Diet.

  2. You are so right !!! I have been telling people the same thing !!! Awesome post !!! Love it !!!

  3. The most annoying thing about Paleo getting “mainstream” is all the shitty products that are bandied about. Every time I see “grain-free, dairy-free, soy-free” in the store, I’m sickeningly reminded of the “fat-free” and “0 grams of fat” shite that was pushed at us all in the 90s. Took me years to learn to just avoid the grocery store as much as possible.

  4. Love this article! Paleo and everything with Crossfit has become commercialized and is the current trend…

  5. Paleo man did not own an immersion blender. What a farce. Paleo man seldom reached the age of 40 years old. He ate most of his meat in a raw state. Paleo man did not make mayos and sauces and he special jerkies and bars.

    Paleo man in the northern climates had no fresh produce. Paleo man in the desert region had no access to fish. Paleo man kept fit by the periods of lack and scavenging and chasing down animals. Provided that Paleo man didn’t die from getting too close to the tusks or horns…Paleo man did stuff himself with sweet potatoes and mashed banana, coconut oil pancakes.

    Time to get a grip.

  6. People just don’t know jack about nutrition. I mean NUTRITION and body function, not some stupid eating program.
    So therefore it is easy to sell this bs to the masses since they would rather take ones word then do the research themselves.
    And let it be know, our ancestors were way more gatherers than they were hunters.
    Think about it LOGICALLY, no guns. Just shitty spears and arrows, let’s not act as if they were taking down Buffalo’s on the regular.
    It’s all so dumb it angers me. But the sheep just anger me in general.

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