Blog Archives

A great way to relax after a hard week

I find that there is no better way to relax (or get in a workout for that matter) than to chase after 4 and 5 year olds. To them, exercise is merely playing on the monkey bars. (Which actually is not as easy as it was when I was little!)

Not everyone wanted to participate but they were ready to be chased by the tickle monster afterwards….

Happy Friday Man Bicepers!!! Have a great weekend!

When it rains…it pours…

This week has been legitimately awful. Nothing seems to go right this week!

And because of that, I’ve done just about everything I preach against. I’ve done everything I HATE doing.

I haven’t gotten enough sleep. I’ve overtrained subbing group fitness classes. I’ve expended all my self-control and tried to push through without giving myself a primal cheat, which of course led to a giant binge that only made me feel sick and more drained.

But I’ve got to shake myself out of this funk! I’m determined after what happened last night…

Ryan is a preschool teacher. He is great with the kids, even though I’m pretty sure all of them will have a weird sense of humor after hanging out with him….

Anyway, last night one of the parents called him when we were eating dinner. He at first didn’t answer since we were eating.

But she kept texting him and finally left a voicemail. The voicemail was accusatory and attacking.

Ryan was taken back by her tone and her unfounded accusations. She put him down and tried to get a rise out of him. She WANTED to create drama and to make Ryan feel bad.

But he didn’t let her win.

He stood up to her but he didn’t yell at her or validate her accusations.

He didn’t let the negative things she said about him get to him.

He didn’t let her win.

There are lots of people out there that will yell at you and try to make you feel bad about yourself for no legitimate reason. There are lots of people out there that will put you down when you’ve done nothing wrong.

But those people only win if you believe them.

Don’t let those people win. There are enough things to battle with in life. Don’t let stupid people be one of them.

Believe in yourself.

I believe in myself despite all the crap that has gone on this week. That is why I’m pulling myself out of this funk TODAY!

I will not waste one more minute not enjoying life!!!! 🙂

Spin To Cure

From June 14-16, Candy, Brian and I will be participating in a 16 hour Spin-a-thon to raise money for the PMC (the Pan-Mass Challenge).

We will all be riding all 16 hours.

Will we survive?

I’m not sure.

I’ve participated in the Spin-a-thon every year. The first year I did only 2 hours. Last year, I did all 12. And this year, I will attempt all 16!

And I’m prepared for my butt to be extremely sore for days afterwards!

I’m not a huge fan of cardio, but because it’s a challenge and because it will raise money for a GREAT CAUSE, Candy, Brian and I will do all 16 hours.

I would love for any of you in Boston to join me and the Man Bicep Team and ride in the Spin-a-thon! And if you can’t ride, you can always donate to support the Man Bicepers by clicking here! In the notes section, write that you are sponsoring the Man Bicep team!

If you have any questions, email me at manbiceps@gmail.com!!!

Does anyone else catch flack because of their AMBITION, COMPETITIVENESS, TENACITY or DRIVE?

Recently I’ve caught some flack from people around me because of my ambition, competitiveness, tenacity and drive.

For some reason it seems to be much more acceptable for MEN to be super driven and competitive than WOMEN.

Hehe…yes I have a weird sense of humor. We’ve established that! 😉

Usually women who are competitive and driven are called “pushy,” “bossy,” and even “bitchy.” (Sorry for the crude language!)

But it’s true. Drive and ambition aren’t necessarily seen as positive things in women.

My question is, “WHY!?!”

Why shouldn’t I want to take advantage of any opportunity I can to better myself?

Why shouldn’t I want to succeed?

Why is it that when I go after what I want with all my heart that I get condemned and told to not be so pushy?

I’m sorry but I REFUSE to apologize for my AMBITION, COMPETITIVENESS, TENACITY OR DRIVE!

If I want something, I’m going to go after it. I’m going to work hard and EARN IT.

Call me pushy, bossy or a bitch. It would deter me. And I hope all of you out there are the same way.

Has anyone else ever been condemned because of their ambition, competitiveness, tenacity or drive?

Oh and if you ever need to work out any frustration because someone puts you down because of your ambition, try this workout! 🙂

Strength:

Bench 3×10

Auxiliary Lifts:

Pull up/Burpee Pyramid

Pull ups 1-10-1 paired with Burpees 2-20-2

P.S. Man Bicep Mom – Happy Mother’s Day! I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again…YOU ARE AMAZING AND MY ROLE MODEL! Love you!

“Ego Depletion”

You know when you feel down on yourself and you just can’t stop yourself from stuffing bad food into your mouth?

LOVE IT!

It may be caused by Ego Depletion.

I’ve mentioned before that self-control is like a tank of gas – each time you exert self-control, you draw from that tank and if you take too much out without giving yourself a “break,” you will lose all control and do something like stuff your face with bad food.

Recently, I’ve been desperately craving bad food. I even gave in and cheated last weekend because I just couldn’t resist.

I think it is a combination of working a lot, being sick and also getting a few negative comments that were blows to my ego that just made me lose control.

And that is probably exactly what it is based on a post that Candy set me yesterday. The post, called “Ego Depletion,” discusses facets and factors contributing to ego depletion.

I love the experiment discussed at the beginning of the post. Scientists have two different groups go and mingle at a social gathering. After the gathering, the scientists tell one group of people who people wanted to work with them while the other group was told that they needed to work alone since no one wanted to work with them.

Both groups were then asked to taste test some cookies. The group that had people who wanted to work with them ate fewer cookies than the group that had just been told that no one wanted to work with them.

On average the rejects ate twice as many cookies as the popular people. To an outside observer, nothing was different – same setting, same work, similar students sitting alone in front of scrumptious cookies. In their heads though, they were on different planets. For those on the sunny planet with the double-rainbow sky, the cookies were easy to resist. Those on the rocky, lifeless world where the forgotten go to fade away found it more difficult to stay their hands when their desire to reach into the bowl surfaced.

Why does this happen? Why does our self-control just seem to vanish when we suffer blows to our ego?

I like how the post tries to come up with some answers to this question:

The researchers in the “no one chose you” study proposed that since self-regulation is required to be prosocial, you expect some sort of reward for regulating your behavior. People in the unwanted group felt the sting of ostracism, and that reframed their self-regulation as being wasteful. It was as if they thought, “Why play by the rules if no one cares?” It poked a hole in their willpower fuel tanks, and when they sat in front of the cookies they couldn’t control their impulses as well as the others. Other studies show when you feel ostracized and unwanted, you can’t solve puzzles as well, you become less likely to cooperate, less motivated to work, more likely to drink and smoke and do other self-destructive things. Rejection obliterates self-control, and thus it seems it’s one of the many avenues toward a state of ego depletion.

So rejection and ostracism deplete our self-control.

I would fully agree with that.

We’ve all heard the term “emotional eater” and maybe there really is something to that!

So what do we do to try to prevent ego depletion?

The hard truth is…sometimes we can’t.

BUT we can try as often as possible to give ourselves some “me time” – to give ourselves some breaks so we can recharge and refill the self-control tank.

As the post says:

The only way to avoid this state of mind is to predict what might cause it in your own daily life and to avoid those things when you need the most volition. Modern life requires more self control than ever. Just knowing Reddit is out there beckoning your browser, or your iPad is waiting for your caress, or your smart phone is full of status updates, requires a level of impulse control unique to the human mind. Each abstained vagary strengthens the pull of the next. Remember too that you can dampen your executive functions in many ways, like by staying up all night for a few days, or downing a few alcoholic beverages, or holding your tongue at a family gathering, or resisting the pleas of a child for the umpteenth time. Having an important job can lead to decision fatigue which may lead to ego depletion simply because big decisions require lots of energy, literally, and when you slump you go passive. A long day of dealing with bullshit often leads to an evening of no-decision television in which you don’t even feel like switching the channel to get Kim Kardashian’s face out of your television, or sitting and watching a censoredJurassic Park between commercials even though you own a copy of the movie five feet away. If so, no big deal, but if you find yourself in control of someone’s parole or air traffic, or you need to lose 200 pounds, that’s when it’s time to plan ahead. If you want the most control over your own mind so that you can alter your responses to the world instead of giving in and doing what comes naturally, stay fresh. Take breaks. And until we understand just what ego depletion really is, don’t make important decisions on an empty stomach.

Have you ever suffered from ego depletion?

It’s my workout and I’ll cry if I want to

I’ll be the first to admit I’m an emotional person. When I decided to do something, I commit fully. Because I invest myself so fully into things, I can get super upset at the littlest set back.

In college, I would get super upset if I couldn’t lift a weight. When trainers would tell me “you almost have it,” I would almost get more frustrated than if I wasn’t even close.

To this day, I still get frustrated when I can’t hit a PR or at least match what I did the time before.

Most of the male trainers at my gym, don’t understand the emotional investment I make. Most don’t get why a failure can cause me to cry.

He's not crying now, but he will be when that weight doesn't budge from the floor!

I’m not ashamed to admit that I cry. I have been known to cry if I can’t hit a new PR after training hard for months. I don’t half ass things. It doesn’t matter what it is – I want to do my best at it. Shoot even pool, which I suck at, I still want to win and will get mad if Ryan beats me!

I’m not saying this is the best way to behave…trust me, there are definitely some times when I wish I wouldn’t get so upset about a bad lift…BUT the point is, I’ve also accepted that this is who I am.

That’s not to say that I’m not working on things. It is much more rare now that I cry after a bad lift. I, most of the time, don’t sweat the small stuff. I remind myself that there are going to be bad days. I remind myself that while Ryan may beat me in pool, I can kick his butt in everything else. (Just kidding Ryan….sort of…)

But even though I remind myself of these things, I’m still an emotional and competitive person who WILL get upset when she doesn’t “succeed.”

Anyway, my point is, don’t be ashamed if you are an emotional person. Don’t let people make you feel bad for showing emotion when you don’t succeed.

And the truth is, if you invest yourself fully into something, there is good reason to be upset when you don’t succeed! Obviously, you don’t want to let your emotions run out of control, but the occasional cry after missing a PR is good for you!

Is it just me or does anyone else out there ever cry after not achieving one of their fitness/diet/exercise goals?

P.S. No I didn’t cry today, but trust me I can name some really great examples of times when I did. Shoot I probably even have some pictures from tennis when I would slap my thigh if I missed a shot. Not the best way to express my emotions….