Category Archives: Mindset
Self-Confidence: Don’t Let Others Bring You Down
Coaches, friends, family can all sometimes bring us down.
Generally they are trying to help and well-intentioned, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes their criticisms can’t hurt.
It doesn’t mean that sometimes their critiques can’t make us feel more insecure.
However, we need to learn to take criticism…It is the only way we truly get stronger.
So how do you learn how to take criticism even when it isn’t said necessarily in the best way?
You learn to be CONFIDENT in your own abilities!
Easier said than done, right?
Yes…and…No
No you can’t wake up tomorrow and say, “Now I’m confident!”
But yes, you can change your level of confidence without doing more than changing the way you TALK TO YOURSELF.
You don’t have to hit some new goal to develop confidence.
You just have to decide to believe in yourself!
I think self talk is one of the most often ignored and neglected parts of our dealings with ourselves.
We get ourselves haircuts, doctors appointments…we schedule workouts and even plan out meals.
We think about how we are taking care of ourselves and all the things we need to do for ourselves to feel good and stay healthy – except about how we talk to ourselves.
We consider our words when we communicate with others. We compliment and encourage. We focus on the good things that other people do (or at least most people generally try to).
Yet we never really think about how we are TALKING TO OURSELVES. We never try to compliment and encourage. We never focus on the good things.
And positive self-talk is one of the most important things when it comes to developing self-confidence.
Developing a positive inner monologue doesn’t mean you have to wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am wonderful. I am beautiful.” Heck, it doesn’t even mean learning to love your flaws.
It simply means learning to accept yourself and realize that, yes…you do have flaws. WE ALL DO.
It just means making little changes in how you talk to yourself and in giving yourself credit for all of the good things you do. It is like talking to a friend or loved one – you want to motivate them and have them focus on all of the wonderful things you see in them!
Here is what I’ve found has helped me and many of my clients develop a more positive inner monologue and quiet those doubts raised by outside criticism.
Tips to Develop Positive Self-Talk:
1. Before you go to compete, to do a presentation at work, or to do anything challenge, take a deep breath and say, “I can do this.” Think about all of the great things you’ve done and the hard work you’ve put in. DON’T think about the other things you COULD have done.
2. Give yourself credit for small victories. Too often we ignore small victories because we aren’t there at our long-term goal yet. But if you maintain your weight or lift 5 more pounds, even if you aren’t at your goal yet, celebrate that victory! Set short-term goals and track your progress to them. Take time to celebrate even the smallest victories. It will motivate you and build your confidence in yourself.
3. Take a deep breath and think when someone gives you criticism. Often criticism is meant to help us. You can’t let criticism bring you down. If it is constructive, take a second and figure out how to use it to help you become stronger. Criticism doesn’t mean you aren’t still wonderful! We all have flaws and sometimes it is good to discover them so we can make them stronger! Realize that someone is criticizing you because they probably already think you are wonderful and just want to help! Don’t instantly make criticism a negative! Think about how it will make you even better! Don’t focus on the fact that it is potentially a current flaw!
4. “A tiger doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.” Sometimes criticism is given to try to bring you down. The other person is probably insecure and therefore lashing out. You can’t let every criticism bring you down. We have to recognize that criticism is just other people’s opinions and that they aren’t always right. There are some times where you have to just brush it off. And while brushing it off can be hard for some, if you want to be the tiger you have to. Maybe that means reminding yourself of all your great points or just recognizing where their criticisms are coming from!
5. Build on your strengths. Don’t be afraid to evaluate yourself. Take a second today and think about yourself. If your self-talk is pretty negative, you will find you start to list all the things that need improvement. And then you may even start working on them. But what about the positives? What do you like about yourself? What are your strengths? Haven’t considered those near as much, huh? We always focus on getting rid of our flaws to make ourselves better, but what about developing our strengths? While I do think it is important to spend time making our weakness stronger, I think there is also something to making our strengths even better. Spend some time developing your strengths! It will definitely lead to a little more confidence in yourself and you will spend some time speaking positively to yourself!
Developing positive self-talk is about changing your instant reaction of saying “I can’t” when a new challenge arises to “I can.” Even if maybe you fail, the point is you CAN try. You CAN put yourself out there. You CAN risk “failing.”
Success and self-confidence isn’t developed by WINNING. It is developed by putting yourself out there and risking failure and pushing yourself to work hard to take on new challenges.
I’ve failed more times than I can count. But I have pride in myself because I was willing to risk failure to try something new.
Confidence comes not from being the best or being perfect. It comes from the acceptance that failure, that flaws, are a part of us.
All we can do is our best and that is what matters!
Striving For Success – How do we get there?
There are two reasons why most people fail at hitting their goals:
A. They give up because they get impatient that they aren’t there yet and feel like they will never be there.
or..
B. They never take a look at where they are at and end up going down with a sinking ship (AKA they stick with a program that doesn’t work because they are too afraid to make changes and someone else told them it worked).
These seem pretty obvious right? You wouldn’t do either of these…right?
WRONG!
Take a look at all the goals you’ve set over the last few years. How many of them have you really hit?
Looking back, you probably haven’t hit that many. And yes, some may not seem important now and you may not even remember why you wanted to set that goal in the first place, but the point is…YOU DIDN’T FOLLOW THROUGH. You didn’t COMPLETE the goal.
You didn’t reach your goal, your dream, for one of the two reasons above.
You didn’t reach your goal because you didn’t track your progress and you didn’t take time to ASSESS.
If you feel like you aren’t making progress or ever going to get there, don’t give up! Look at what you’ve tracked!
For one, when you look at what you’ve done, you may find you’ve actually have made more progress than you are giving yourself credit for even if you haven’t yet reached your goal.
And two, if you aren’t making progress than change what seems to be holding you back! Don’t just give up!
The problem is, most people don’t track. They don’t realize what they are doing day in and day out.
Most people only see where they are not.
We are obsessed with BEING THERE. (Yes…even those people who cling so hard to a failing program are truly so obsessed with being there that they can’t let go of something that is supposed to work.)
And rarely do we enjoy the process or even take chances to step back and assess.
Success doesn’t just happen. It is earned.
It takes hard work, dedication, and lots of failures.
Reaching your goal is going to have its ups…And a tons of downs.
You just can’t let the downs, the failures, derail you. But you also can’t ignore them.
Don’t put on blinders. Don’t rush in with no thought about the process.
Take a second today if you are struggling…Whether you are truly struggling to reach your goal or just struggling to feel like you are making progress…and assess the process.
Don’t put the blinders on and just tell yourself that everything is going ok when it isn’t. But don’t tell yourself everything is horrible just because you had a minor set-back!
Step back. Take a deep breath. And truly take a look at where you are and where you started.
I can’t say this enough, but tracking your progress is key. It motivates and allows us to honestly assess where we are and truly how hard we’ve worked and how dedicated we’ve been about getting to our goal.
Tracking allows us to look at what is working and what isn’t working.
Here are some other great articles with tips to help you reach success. These articles are focused on setting powerful GOALS. Because without SMART goals, motivational goals, you aren’t going to achieve success!
While I agree, you want to have the “never give up” attitude, you DO want to have REALISTIC goals.
It’s Easier For You – 10 Ways To Break Bad Habits
It’s Hard Work…Period (goal setting tips)
A Complete Guide to Goal Setting (leading you through the step by step process)
Half Marathon Training – It’s all in your head
I want to start this post by giving a BIG shout out to Jodie for completing her first half marathon this weekend.
She overcame huge hurdles on Sunday to finish 13.1 torturous miles. And her victory, her determination and perseverance in the face of some pretty sucky circumstances inspired me to write this post.
Take a second right now and think about your training, be it training for a race, a sport, life (actually most importantly life) or a powerlifting competition.
How often do you train in pretty comfortable circumstances? In a warm gym. Or on a route you know and may have even run before. With music you like to listen to that motivates you. Following your normal routine surrounded by people and places you are fairly familiar with.
Most of us probably always train in pretty comfortable surroundings following our own basic routine.
I mean why wouldn’t we? I know I generally do.
But guess what…A lot of unexpected crap can pop up when it comes to competition. We all acknowledge this, yet rarely do I really ever hear or read about people TRAINING for the unexpected crap. High level athletes, yes, but weekend warriors, no (and the crazy part is, those of us training for LIFE, for HEALTH, encounter more unexpected stuff than anyone else, yet we train for it the least!).
And when it comes down to competition time, guess what matters more than all the hours you spent strengthening your body?
How strong your mind is.
While training, even under ideal circumstances can still make you mentally tougher, it doesn’t necessarily make you ready to handle crappy situations when they pop up unexpected during competition.
Because unfortunately, they sometimes do. And when those situations arise, it doesn’t matter how strong our body truly is. All it matters is whether or not our mind can carry us through when the going becomes so much worse than we could have foreseen.
This past Sunday, Jodie had the perfect storm. Mid-race, on a course much tougher than expected, Jodie’s ipod died. Just completely shut off.
And when you’ve trained day and in and day out with your music that is a huge blow. Who would ever expect your fully charged, brand new phone to suddenly shut off!?!
Mentally the shock of something like that happening can be a death blow. Especially when you still have 6 more miles to go and the last few are on a hill that people the day before kept complaining and whining about.
But Jodie pushed on.
Then what do you do if your body chooses that day to rebel? You’ve trained hard for months. You are physically strong enough, but your stomach just doesn’t seem to care.
What do you do then when you have no music to distract you (like you’ve had ever run for the past few months while training), your stomach is telling you to stop and your body is fatigued from unexpected hill after hill?
It all comes down to how strong your mind is.
And all I can tell you is, I ran with one strong lady on Sunday. Up a hill that felt like it lasted for an hour, Jodie pushed through finishing her half marathon with no music and a body in rebellion.
She was a bit disappointed when we finished because she wanted a bit more out of the race. And then she turned said to me, “I think I should have trained on more hills.”
While yes, a bit more hill training could have made that last hill feel a little less awful, I don’t think hill training was what was missing from our program.
The hill did deliver a blow, but the real battle started when her music shut off. All she then had were her thoughts and a mind that now had nothing to distract it from the pain building in her body.
It made me realize that what had been missing from our training was a true mental test.
I never once thought of having us run without music. I never once thought of creating a ridiculously, outrageously hard unexpected route.
I never thought of having her train in a way that would mentally make her suffer more than her body was.
I did everything to prepare her for the route we thought we knew we’d be running and the circumstances we thought we’d be running under.
Heck, the only mental training we really did was the few times I forced her to run sore just in case her body didn’t feel perfect the day of the race. That way at least she’d know that she’d done it before feeling worse.
Anyway, the point is, it really doesn’t matter how much you train if your mind isn’t going to be prepared to handle adversity. And while I was so proud of Jodie for the mental strength she displayed, a bit more mental training could have made yesterday a walk (ok maybe a run) in the park for her even with all the crap that popped up.
And just because you aren’t training for a race doesn’t mean you can skip the mental training.
Adversity doesn’t just pop up in competition. It happens in everyday life.
We are truly only as strong as our minds believe we are. It’s as simple as that.
So while I’m not suggesting you force yourself to go outside and deadlift in the snow to prepare for unforeseen circumstances at a powerlifting competition, I am suggesting that you occasionally force yourself to train in circumstances that challenge your mental strength.
What I am suggesting is that, while you may get into a routine and generally train in that routine, you every so often force yourself to deviate from that routine just so you know that you don’t NEED the routine to succeed.
Like maybe if you always run with music, you try a few runs without it just in case your iphone decides to stop functioning mid-race…
Training can’t just strengthen your body, it must also push your mind.
Because as I said before…
YOU ARE ONLY AS STRONG AS YOUR MIND BELIEVES YOU ARE!
Congrats again Jodie. I want to say how proud of you I am for finishing that half-marathon strong!
Monday Motivation – All you need is a Monday?
I’ve seen lots of Instagram photos with “You don’t need a New Year to make a change. All you need is a Monday.”
Monday means a new week.
A fresh start.
A chance to change right from the BEGINNING of something.
But why do you really need to WAIT till Monday?
I hear it all the time, “I’ll start Monday.”
But seriously….Why wait? Why not start TODAY! Why is Wednesday not as good as Monday?
Because Monday is the “BEGINNING” of the week and that means you have all week to make changes?
HAH! You really think Monday you are instantly going to be more motivated? Do you really think starting at the beginning of a new week is going to make you more successful?
I mean maybe you will be more motivated after eating crappy all weekend and not working out for even longer…
But maybe you won’t be….Maybe you will have lost the motivation you had on Wednesday – maybe whatever inspired you on Wednesday will have worn off after four more days.
When the desire hits to make a healthy lifestyle change, START RIGHT THEN AND THERE!
You don’t need a Monday OR a New Year.
Start while the you are motivated!
The more we can capitalize on our initial motivation the more likely we are to succeed. But that initial passion to succeed at our goals doesn’t last long.
That initial drive is fleeting. What keeps you on course is HABITS.
Healthy habits and values you’ve instilled because you’ve had to time create them because of your initial motivation.
But habits take a while to create. And they are most easily developed when we have the willpower, drive and determination to turn down temptations and old bad habits.
It is hard to say, “No” to bad habits when new habits aren’t yet in place and your initial passion is waning.
Heck it is hard to get started when you don’t feel that burning desire that you felt the Wednesday before.
It leads to a lot of failures early on and more statements of “Oh…I’ll get back at it Monday.”
STOP THE SICK CYCLE!
START WHEN THE MOTIVATION STRIKES!
Freaking start at 12 am on Tuesday night when you are motivated by something you saw on Instagram or TV or read in a book!
Oh but what can you do on a Tuesday at 12 am when you are just about to fall asleep?!?
The crazy part is actually a lot.
You can make lists of things you need to get started with tomorrow to help you realize your goal. You can write your goal down in black and white. You can really quickly print or write out or even draw whatever thing you read or saw that motivated you and place it some where that you’ll see it right when you wake up.
You can take little baby steps to start getting the momentum moving in the right direction.
It isn’t about starting when you can have a completely perfect year, or month, or week or even day.
It is about getting started right then and there and GETTING THE MOMENTUM GOING.
Momentum builds upon itself.
You’ve just got to get it rolling in the right direction.
So when the motivation strikes, get the momentum going.
Results will follow.
You don’t have to wait till Monday.
Of course since today is Monday and you are now hopefully motivated, you really have no excuse not to get the momentum going….RIGHT!?!
Happy Monday! Let’s not waste another moment wishing, waiting or wanting.
DO IT NOW!
Motivation creates Momentum. Momentum creates Habits. Habits create Results.
In case you needed a little Monday Motivation haha
To Strong Women Everywhere
Yes…I do realize it is funky punctuation.
I think most women are way stronger than they give themselves credit for.
I think we are taught from a very young age, intentionally or unintentionally, to be very humble, to be almost shy or even ashamed of our strength and abilities. We are almost taught to keep our strength to ourselves.
Far too often I hear females brush off compliments and downplay their abilities (sometimes they even completely deny them).
But we need to embrace our strength – we need to acknowledge our awesomeness!
It’s funny, but I really started thinking about all of this when one of my male clients said to me, “You are freaking awesome!” after we were discussing some sort of feat of strength.
Instead of blushing and denying it, I said, “I know, right!?!” (I was partially joking, but at the same time, I was PROUD of what I had accomplished).
And guess what? He didn’t roll his eyes or think I was cocky or conceited. He actually laughed and start to say to the client next to him, “Notice how she didn’t….”
I then interrupted him and said, “Didn’t deny it?”
He laughed again and said, “Yea!”
And I said, “Well I’m proud!”
And he said, “You should be!”
YOU SHOULD BE!
Ok…I’m not suggesting that we walk around saying, “I know!” when someone gives us a compliment. I’m just saying that we should start believing in ourselves and in our abilities.
We should start being proud of our STRENGTH.
Because, guess what!?! IT IS OK TO BE PROUD AND STRONG!
And right now you may be thinking, “Well I’m strong and I don’t have to go around bragging about it to be proud of it.”
Uhm well for one, I’m not suggesting your brag. And two, are you really proud of it if you can’t accept a compliment?
Are you really proud if you have to downplay your abilities?
Are you really proud if you are apologizing and excusing your strength?
Personally, I don’t think so.
Because how much can you truly BELIEVE in yourself if you keep telling yourself and other people you really aren’t that wonderful and strong?
We do start to believe what we tell ourselves and others. Our minds do hear the words coming out of our mouths. And our mind can be tricked into believing the lies….
I’ve seen a change over the years as I’ve gone from excusing and downplaying my strength, my abilities, to embracing them and maybe even, in some people’s eyes, bragging about them.
Heck, if saying “Yes. I am indeed strong” is bragging….GUILTY AS CHARGED….And very proud of it.
My point is that when I stopped denying and downplaying, I started to become even stronger because my mind wasn’t ever hearing that I wasn’t strong enough.
So take a second right now and think about it.
Are you truly proud of your strength?
How often do you recognize and appreciate your abilities when someone gives you a compliment? Or do you generally downplay what you’ve accomplished?
P.S. This post is dedicated to all of you wonderful women that inspire me every day with your strength inside and out of the gym!
Give Yourself a Break
We are not perfect.
No matter how much we may strive to be, we simply aren’t.
And that isn’t a bad thing…even though we often treat ourselves like failures when we don’t live up to our own expectations.
The bad thing is when we hold ourselves back for longer than the failure itself does because we keep berating ourselves and preventing ourselves from moving on.
I say all this as a person who can be very very tough on herself when she doesn’t accomplish things exactly how and when she planned to.
I say this as a person who is incredibly demanding of herself and can bring herself to tears because she beats herself up over a “failure.”
I also say this as a person who is working to correct this and learn how to “give herself a break.”
Because mistakes AREN’T failures unless we don’t learn from them. And the harder a time we give ourselves about our mistake, the longer we stay in that failure mentality and hold ourselves back from moving forward.
Random (but not so random)…Have any of you read “Oh The Places You’ll Go?” (If you haven’t I suggest you do as it probably is one of the best “life lesson” books out there.
Here is just a little excerpt:
I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
It’s all right there in that children’s book – Shit happens. Mistakes happen. “Failures” happen.
But the worst part isn’t that failure, but the “slump” you are in after it.
Because generally that slump is what TRULY holds you back.
And as the book says, “Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.”
Why is it not easily done?
BECAUSE WE EXPECT PERFECTION! Even though we know it isn’t possible.
So today stop stressing over little mistakes, little slip ups, little failures.
Take a deep breath and release all the tension all the anger.
Let the mistake go and get out of the funk. Don’t let a slump hold you back for longer than is necessary!
Learn from your mistake and move on!
On a side note….
Here are a couple of fun workout memes to hopefully make you smile and a couple of cool links to check out! (Plus a whole WARM UP GUIDE I just created with pictures!)
The toilet seems so low after leg day!
I love the minions
haha
Dedication vs. Motivation – by Colin at Uber Beast Mode
Liar, Liar, Legs on Fire: Deception and Other Mind Games to Help You Keep Running When You Feel Like You Can’t Go Another Step – by Charlotte at The Great Fitness Experiment (Thought this was interesting after reading some of Jen’s recent posts at Wine to Weightlifting…and after having to run lots of long distances…. BLEH)
Thoughts on Rest Days – by Abby at Back at Square Zero. Rest days are important but aren’t always easy to take. Interesting little discussion on them…
Taking another whack at the Olympic distance triathlon – by Caitlin at Fit and Feminist. Liked this a lot….So much of what we do is out of pride and to prove something to ourselves. It isn’t about whether or not anyone else knows but about showing ourselves we can do it! It is about working hard because WE will know if we slack off.
AND a few of my own in case you missed them:
Fixes for two common running injuries – Shin Splints and Plantar Fasciitis
(Included these last two because they are legitimately two of my all-time favorite moves and ones I think everyone should be able to do)
And finally….My new post about how to warm up…. 15 Simple Dynamic Moves for a Full-Body Warm Up
It’s Easier For You – 10 Ways to Break Bad Habits
It’s funny, whenever someone has success in terms of changing their lifestyle around to be healthier, people who haven’t made the change will tell them…
“Well it is easier for you.”
Can I just say right now…”HOW COULD IT BE EASIER!?!?!”
Any time you break a habit, any time you make a lifestyle change it isn’t going to be easier.
I mean think about all the changes you’ve had to make to your habits over the years. Where any of them really EASY?
I can tell you your parents didn’t think potty training you was easy. Or getting you to stop carrying around the blanket EVERYWHERE you went was easy.
I can tell you my Mom didn’t have an easy time of breaking me of my thumb-sucking habit. She had to coax and reward and take it step by step. And sometimes I had good days and sometimes I had bad days. But slowly the good days won out and I stopped (My desire for the present at the end became greater than my desire to suck my thumb!).
But even something as simple as breaking the habit of sucking my thumb wasn’t easy.
No lifestyle changes are ever easy for anyone.
Habits are hard to break.
There is no magic pill – no key to instant success.
No one is really more gifted when it comes to making a change.
It is all hard work and determination. It is determination that supersedes any other immediate desires.
Changing to a healthy lifestyle isn’t ever easy, especially when you are making the actual CHANGE.
In fact most people will tell you about all the sacrifices they had to make and all the times they wanted to give up BEFORE the change became habit.
So let’s face it. Change is never easy. There is no secret out there or gifted person that didn’t struggle when breaking bad habits.
Honestly, I think that people say “It was easier for you” to let themselves off the hook and to try to make you feel a little less proud of your accomplishment.
It isn’t really that they thought it was easier for you….They are just excusing their own failures.
Sorry, but really, if you think about it, you know this is true.
Because we all know change isn’t easy.
The key is just setting your mind to the change and deciding that nothing is going to derail you.
I write a lot about having a powerful WHY when it comes to creating change.
That powerful reason WHY is what makes your change seem so seamless, so “easy,” to other people.
When you want something bad enough, you are going to make it happen.
Every day won’t be perfect. There will be “slip ups” and missed workouts and cheat meals, but perfection isn’t necessary.
Small forward progress over the days, weeks, months is what will add up. Staying focused on your end goal is what will matter.
Having a powerful WHY, knowing a really motivational, emotional reason why you want to accomplish something, is what will keep you motivated, but it is only a small part of success.
Here is what I tell my clients that helps them succeed even when the going gets tough.
1. Write down your WHY – Write down a powerful, emotional reason why you want something. Just saying “I want to lose 10lbs” or “I want to look good in my bikini this summer” probably isn’t going to be enough. Tap into your emotions. Dig for something important that will not only motivate you to get started, but will keep you motivated when things get hard (which they probably will).
Living seems like decent motivation….
2. Write down a WHEN – Set a deadline. Set multiple deadlines in fact. Set short-term goals with dates when they have to be completed. Deadlines are motivating. And when they are written down they are more solid and we are way more likely to want to achieve them because we can’t weasel out of them. Make the deadline important. Don’t just choose an arbitrary date. Yes, if you are making a lifestyle change, you want it to be FOREVER, but you have to have specific dates when certain things will be accomplished. Because trust me….people do better with END DATES.
3. PLAN, PLAN and oh yea….PLAN – You don’t have to write out exactly what you are going to eat and when you are going to eat it. You don’t have to map out your workouts and the weights you are going to use for the next year, but PLAN AHEAD. We each have triggers that set off old bad habits. Know those triggers and lay out a plan with how you are going to deal with them. For instance, ladies…many of us crave crap around our periods. Plan out how you are going to deal with that. Do you have “cleaner” treats available? Do you plan in a couple cheats then? What is your plan of action? Know what sets you off and plan for it. (Sorry dudes reading this). Developing new habits is about breaking the old ones and a big part of that is PLANNING AHEAD so when the moment arises we know how we are going to change our old patterns. Because trust me, trying to fight against old desires in the moment when you have no plan of attack isn’t easy.
4. Know yourself – Take a look at your current habits. Take a look at what has made you fail in the past. Now take a look at what you’ve enjoyed and haven’t enjoyed with other failed experiments, other times you’ve tried to make a lifestyle change. If you don’t like running, don’t force yourself to run every day. If you don’t like lifting weights, don’t force yourself to lift every day. Find things you enjoy to be active and then on occasion add in those things you “know you should be doing.” If you know that you just can’t go to bed without dessert, figure out a healthy treat that satisfies you. If you know that having that “all or nothing” attitude will lead to you failing, DON’T DO IT! Make small changes over time. You know yourself. You know what you like and what you don’t like. Account for those things and then do number 3 and PLAN FOR THEM!
5. Celebrate small success – Lose half a pound? Avoid eating that brownie at work even though you really really wanted it but you knew it would just throw off the rest of your week? CELEBRATE IT! Give yourself recognition for changing. Give yourself credit for breaking a bad habit or moving even just the teensiest bit closer to your goal. Too often people get so focused on their long-term goal that they don’t recognize all the great things that they are doing day in and day out. And that focus on the long-term goal, and them not being there yet, can lead to them getting discouraged and feeling like they are failing. When they aren’t! Because those small things that they are doing day in and day out will add up to one very large success. They just have to be patient! You have to get rid of that NOW NOW NOW attitude and celebrate your small victories!
6. Don’t seek perfection – Sorry none of us are perfect. And life and achieving our goals, isn’t about perfection. It is about small forward progress over the weeks, months and even years. It is about NOT being hard on yourself when you slip up. It is about NOT expecting yourself to be perfect. Because when we expect perfection, when we come down on ourselves for one little mistake, that is when we derail all the progress we have made. If you have a cookie or miss a workout, don’t tell yourself your day is ruined. Don’t just give up. Accept that you may just have needed that little deviation and then get right back on track. It isn’t the slip ups that matter, it is how we handle them that has lasting results. One slip up won’t add up but letting that turn into a downward spiral will. Give yourself some room to make mistake and to have “life get in the way.” Because guess what? IT WILL! I even recommend that clients account for plateaus and backslides in their goals. Set a deadline that allows you to not be perfect day in and day out because it just won’t happen. That doesn’t mean you give yourself double the time to accomplish something, but it does mean that you don’t expect yourself to never deviate from the plan.
7. Include others – Many people are embarrassed about being on a diet or a specific workout program. They are afraid to admit their goals to others for fear of being judged. They are also afraid to admit their goals because what if they fail? Stop being afraid of failure AND stop worry about being judged. Find some supportive friends and family and tell them what you want to accomplish. Having other people know your goals makes you a bazillion times less likely to fail especially if you choose people who are supportive. They will hold you accountable and that fear of embarrassment if you fail will be a strong motivator (sorry but its true…may as well use it to our advantage!). Plus if you get others involved, they may just end up working out with you, which could be fun! Or they may help you find new ways to commit to your goals that you didn’t even think of. We all bring something different to the table and being able to talk to other people can really help. They may have experienced some of the same problems and have great ways to get through!
8. Don’t isolate yourself – Many people on a “diet” feel like they can’t go hang out with friends and be social. But that just isn’t true. You can plan in days to go out and have those be cheat days. Or you can PLAN AHEAD (#3!) and take a look at the restaurant you are going to and know the healthy options. You can even suggest places to go that won’t tempt you to break your diet. AND not every social gathering has to revolve around food! I love going bowling with friends. Or what about hiking or a movie or a dance class? There are lots of fun active things you can do to be social. You don’t have to be a hermit when you are making a lifestyle change. And actually if you force yourself to be one when you aren’t one, you are most likely going to fail. It’s as simple as that.
9. Don’t worry about what others are doing or thinking – Too often we get caught up in what other people are doing or thinking. And honestly, you just can’t worry about that. We can’t compare our progress to our friend’s. Just because their diet is working for them doesn’t mean it will work for you. You can’t get down on yourself just because your progress is slower. Progress is progress PERIOD. And on top of that you can’t care about the people who will put you down because you are making progress when they aren’t. Who cares if someone thinks you are psycho because you have to go to your workout class every day and you love bragging about how hard the workout was? Seriously who cares what they think if you are happy with your new habits? Ever occur to you that most of the negative crap that comes out of people’s mouths is because they are JEALOUS? Don’t worry about your friend’s diet or what they think of yours. If you feel good, if you are moving forward, focus on YOURSELF.
10. Track your progress – This links back to celebrating the small success and having deadlines. Actually this one really ties everything together. There is nothing more motivating than progress. There is nothing like progress to keep us on track. So figure out ways to track how you are doing. Goals don’t only have to revolve around weight loss or even how much you lifted. Weeks where you just stuck to your program should be measured and tracked and treated as progress. Set up a few different goals to measure and track them weekly, monthly and yearly. And then celebrate those successes. And while tracking our progress can help us see how far we’ve come, it can also tell us when we need a change. If you track your workouts, you will be able to clearly see if you’ve hit a plateau and need a change. If we aren’t moving forward, we may need to change something. If we haven’t tracked what we are doing, how will we know if we need a change! Tracking can help keep us moving forward!
Now thinking about all this, I still stand firm in the fact that change isn’t really “easier” for any one person.
But you know what….let people go ahead and think that! Be proud of your success and don’t let anyone take away from it! Know that all of your hard work paid off!
NOTE: Thank you Shannon. This post was inspired by your emails. You are an amazing, strong woman and an inspiration to us all!
It’s Never Too Late – Becoming a Beast at Any Age
I have many older adults that come to train with me who think that certain exercises, activities that they even used to do, are now out of reach….I find it is especially common among women.
But that simply isn’t the case.
Even as we age, our bodies are capable of so much more than we give them credit for.
Getting old doesn’t have to mean the end of being an athlete. It doesn’t have to mean accepting pain or not being able to do fun and crazy workout moves!
No matter your age, or even whether or not you were an athlete, you can become a beast. Yup…that’s right…you can become a beast at ANY AGE!
Really becoming a beast isn’t about developing more strength or even better movement patterns – it is about developing CONFIDENCE in yourself.
It is about not being intimidated and believing you CAN do it.
And for women, especially older women who may feel like there are things they can no longer do, the physical fitness realm can be intimidating, which doesn’t make becoming a beast very easy.
You hear fairly often how weight rooms are intimidating for many women. And honestly, for many they only become more intimidating with age.
Heck I’m sure many of you have experienced the dread and fear of walking into a busy weight room. I know I’ve seen it on many of the faces of women I train (before of course I win them over with my great sense of humor…just kidding…sort of…)
I mean…I get it.
Thinking about the gym I work in now, I could see how some of my older women are at first intimidated.
They walk in and there are professional MMA fighters and crazy people running around sweating and grunting. There are chains and tires and sledge hammers as well as other stuff that doesn’t even look like gym equipment lining the walls.
They see people doing handstands and swinging around gigantic kettlebells. And everyone is sweating profusely. (hey we don’t have air conditioning…there are very few people who don’t sweat even without air conditioning…I do know a few…but not many!)
Sometimes it just looks crazy. And there seems to be a lot of stuff going on that looks impossible to do. (And once the first shock is over, most of my older adults, especially the women, love the craziness, but that initial shock can truly intimidate.)
I mean…handstands at 60?
Heck many people aren’t doing handstands at 15 let alone 60!
But they aren’t impossible.
And the only reason I mention handstands is because that is one of those exercises that many women see and turn to me and say, “I can’t do that.”
I always respond the same thing, “Well have you tried to do one?”
The answer is always, without a doubt, “NO.”
Or better yet, “No. I’m too old!”
So they haven’t tried one, but there is no way they are going to be able to do one.
And somewhere along the line, they decided there is an age limit to handstands. (Even after all those videos of the 86-year-old gymnast!)
But doing a handstand, or any exercise like it, is truly all about confidence.
Yes, doing handstands requires strength.
But you would be amazed at the number of women who haven’t lifted that much and haven’t ever really done handstands that can do the second, or even third, level of the handstand progression on their first or second day.
And the best thing EVER is that look in their eyes when they are amazed at the fact that they can walk their feet up the wall and hold a true handstand.
It is all about confidence.
If we don’t believe we can do something, we aren’t ever going to attempt it.
We aren’t ever going to give ourselves a shot.
Yes, our bodies change as we age, but that doesn’t mean that all of a sudden we are restricted from doing a ton of things!
Aging doesn’t mean we have to accept immobility and pain. Aging can still mean running and playing! Heck, there are grandchildren to chase after!
There is no cap on improving your physical fitness. Aging doesn’t have to mean going downhill.
You can become a beast at any age and take on a ton of new physical challenges. I’ve seen it happen.
I have 60-year-old clients who have never been athletes, or really ever even worked out before, find joy in doing chain plank pulls (100 lbs chain plank pulls for that matter).
I bet you if you asked them if they’d ever be able to do something like that, they would have told you NO.
Or what about the woman who came in and lost over 50lbs and regained her ability to do cartwheels after not having done one since high school?
She wasn’t just always a super athlete.
Just because you aren’t a beast right now, doesn’t mean you can’t become one.
Give yourself a chance.
Tell yourself you CAN DO IT and start training today.
Age doesn’t have to mean we are limited! We can be beasts at any age!
If you have discovered your beastliness later in your life, share your story! Comment below and help inspire others to pursue their own “beastliness!”
Are we there yet?!?
As a trainer, you sometimes feel like a parent being asked by your kids over and over again, “Are we there yet!?!”
Sorry trainees, but it’s true.
Most people come to the gym to accomplish a specific goal – be it a new lifting number or weight loss.
And most people get frustrated when they don’t start seeing results on paper almost instantly.
They start asking,”What am I doing wrong?” “Why am I not there yet!?!”
The answer is…Maybe you aren’t doing anything wrong.
Most likely, you just haven’t given yourself enough TIME to see the results adding up.
You can’t necessarily FEEL yourself getting stronger every time you workout.
Heck, there may even be some workouts where you feel like absolute crap and even feel like you’ve gotten weaker. (Which honestly probably isn’t the case.)
Sometimes you might not see the weight on the scale changing. Or even your measurements.
But that doesn’t mean good things aren’t happening!
I, myself, am not a patient person. I don’t like waiting in any sense of the word. If I have a project to do, I want to do it now, even if that means working through the night.
So I do understand when people want results instantly.
That simply isn’t the way it happens though…at least not in the sense most people want it to be true.
Every day you WORK toward your goal, you are getting results. Doing the hard work, itself, is a huge result!
Think about how many people out there are still only thinking about doing what you are trying to do!
And I don’t mean to put those people down…I’m just saying you have to give yourself credit for taking that first step.
Every time you workout. That is a result. It is a step in the right direction.
Every time you make a healthy eating decision, even if it is a conscious decision to cheat, that is a result!
It may not seem like it, but it is!
Because results are about us making better decisions. Results are every time we make a decision to do something that leads to our long-term goal.
Results come in many different forms and BIG RESULTS are the culmination of hard work day in and day out.
Think about it…People don’t expect to be the CEO of the company the work for in one day…one week…or even a year.
Yet they expect to be as strong/fit/in-shape as they desire in a matter of weeks. And the crazy part is, most of them spend way more hours each day focused on their job than they do on their health.
So how do we stop focusing on the numbers and stop getting discouraged when we aren’t there yet?
We start focusing on small victories and enjoying those successes. We enjoy the journey.
Yea, yea, yea…Enjoy the journey!
HA!
Are we there yet!?!
Ok, not every day is going to be fun, but reaching your goals doesn’t have to be about sacrifice and torture. Find an exercise or a diet that you ENJOY doing. Trust me…it is possible. There are so many physical activities out there that can help you stay healthy…and a lot of them don’t even involve a gym!
On top of finding something you enjoy, celebrate your mini victories. Give yourself CREDIT for all of your hard work.
Because when you focus on the destination and not on enjoying the journey, you get stuck in a cycle of “Are we there yet?” When you constantly ask that question, trust me….it makes the trip feel a whole heck of a lot longer!
If you are doing the right things day in and day out, things will add up.
It just takes time.
And a slight side note…but just to demonstrate that even if you aren’t SEEING huge number jumps you probably ARE getting results.
One of my clients whose goal is to lose a bit of weight and feel healthy just managed to do an exercise she wasn’t able to do before.
It wasn’t a concrete goal of hers to be able to be strong enough to do that specific move, but the fact that she could do it, showed that she was making progress.
And it made her pretty freaking excited even if it wasn’t part of her long-term plan.
How often do you question yourself and think “Why am I not there yet?” instead of focusing on all the things you can now actually do?
Diet Analysis – Two Diet Approaches
So today I don’t want to discuss what diet is best or what foods you should be eating. Instead I want to discuss HOW to start making changes toward a healthier diet.
I also want to make note that when I say “diet” I don’t mean a fad or a restricted eating program. By diet I mean “The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.”
When you want to change your lifestyle, there isn’t just one way to do it. Every person has to make healthy lifestyle changes in their own way.
But I have found that there are two basic diet approaches that work best for most people.
The ALL OR NOTHING APPROACH:
With this approach, you create a meal plan with everything planned out so that you know exactly what you are eating and when you are eating it. You may even cook and/or prep everything for the week on Sunday so that it is all ready to go.
This is great for people who don’t like having to make decisions. For many, having to figure out what to eat at the end of a long day, or when they are hungry, leads to disaster and binging. Having everything set out ahead of time helps alleviate the stress of making decisions and allows them to more easily instill new habits.
They also don’t mind eating the same thing numerous times a week and do better when they don’t have a ton of different options around the house.
I’ve found this works best for people who are triggered to binge by having “a little” of a food that tempts them or reminds them of old eating habits – this works best for people who think about their new diet as the foods that they CAN HAVE not the foods that they now CAN’T or SHOULDN’T HAVE.
This may also be a great option for someone who is trying to lose weight fairly aggressively for a specific event (while I don’t like when people crash diet for events, sometimes a big push to get the momentum going can help lead to a long-term commitment).
THE TORTOISE APPROACH:
The all or nothing approach doesn’t work for everyone though. Many feel very RESTRICTED when they have a set meal plan because all they can think about is the foods that AREN’T on the schedule.
So the other approach that I often recommend to clients is what I call the Tortoise approach.
This is honestly my favorite way to make diet changes when dealing with clients who are trying to make an overall lifestyle change.
I call it the TORTOISE approach because it reminds me of the story of The Tortoise and The Hare. Slow and steady wins the race. For these people, sprinting ahead on a meal plan or with very strict guidelines, leads to binging and ultimately to failure. They can’t keep up the pace or feel like they are so ahead that they can rest for awhile…just like the Hare. They do much better with a slow steady pace that allows them to adapt to each change before making the next one. The slow steady pace helps them stay on course the entire time and achieve their ultimate goal…just like the Tortoise.
For people like this, having basic guidelines to follow while being able to eat technically whatever they want allows them to never feel deprived (even if they never actually indulge) because they have the OPTION of eating something if they really want it.
So now the question is…Which way will work best for you?
Unfortunately, no one can answer that but you. And maybe you even need to give both a shot for a month or two to figure out which works best.
But before you choose an approach ask yourself two important questions:
- Do you feel deprived and only think about the foods you CAN’T eat? (YES, then you are a Tortoise because meal plans make Tortoise feel restricted. They like to feel like they can eat anything while staying within basic guidelines.)
- Do you get completely derailed by even just a bit of a food you don’t want to consume on a regular basis? (YES, then you are an All or Nothing. All or Nothings can’t have just a little of something and stay within guidelines. Just a little leads to binges that won’t stay within guidelines.)
Made a successful lifestyle change? Which approach did you use? Or did you maybe even combine them?
(I have had people do meal plans to get things going and then ease off to guidelines once they’ve gained some momentum.)
Man Bicep 