Are We Our Own Worst Enemy?
So Saturday I hosted two workshops at the Limitless Women’s Conference.
The slogan for the conference was “I can. I will. I AM.”
And the goal of the conference was to inspire people to have more faith in themselves…To make people believe in themselves!
Because let’s face it…most people never make changes or better their lives not because they don’t have the ability or resources, not because someone else holds them back, not even because someone else tells them that they can’t…
But because they tell themselves, “I can’t. I won’t. I’m not.”
Most people are their own worst enemies.
We shoot ourselves down before we even give ourselves a shot. We look at our long-term goal and see just how far off we are from it, and maybe even think about the times before when we’ve failed, and give up either before we even gotten started or at the slightest sign of struggle.
We have it in our mind that success is a straight line and we get so focused on the end result that we can’t see all the small successes we achieve every day.
I mean think about it…How many times have you gotten down on yourself because you aren’t there YET instead of thinking about all the great things you’ve done today and the last few days, weeks and months to get yourself increasingly closer to your goal?
LIke all the time right!?!
Stop being your worst enemy and start believing in yourself!
And building that confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It also doesn’t happen just because you hit your big goal.
You actually build confidence through small victories.You need to celebrate even the tiniest of successes because even small successes build momentum and get you closer to your goal.
The small successes add up both in terms of actual results and MINDSET – actually most importantly in terms of MINDSET.
When you start to BELIEVE you CAN, you WILL.
When you set even the easiest, most simple goal and accomplish it, you will believe more in yourself.
It sounds stupid. But trust me it really really works.
When I have days where I’m stressed and I don’t even want to get started on work, I write down on my list some really stupid and simple tasks just so I can cross them off pretty early in the day and already feel like I’ve gotten a ton of stuff down.
For example, I check my email every morning when I wake up, but sometimes when I feel overloaded, I will actually write down on my daily task list, “check email” just so I can basically get up and cross something off my list. Seeing one thing done always motivates me to get started. And even then, I don’t necessarily do the things that NEED to be done first, I do the things that have the lowest barrier to entry first.
Because those small successes and accomplishments get the momentum going on days when I don’t even want to get started!
So start today. Make a list of easy and small things you can start doing that will at least prepare you to move forward on your goal.
Once you get the momentum going, the bigger changes won’t seem as daunting.
So stop telling yourself “NO..I can’t. I won’t. I’m not.”
Find even the smallest piece that you CAN DO today and start with that. Let everything else fall in to place as you progress.
One step at a time!!!
Confidence – Victories Build Upon Victories
So you often hear New Years resolutions and people coming into the gym with a goal of losing weight, getting healthier, being more toned, feeling better.
But what is their REAL reason WHY?
Honestly, it really isn’t to look better. Or even to get healthier most of the time.
It is to be more CONFIDENT!
I mean why do you want to look better? Is it really just for the sake of looking better? Or is it because you want to FEEL better about yourself – be more CONFIDENT in how you look?
Do you really want to get healthier? Or do you want to be MORE CONFIDENT in you health – know that when you wake up you will have the energy to tackle the day and won’t constantly be falling ill?
Yup…Underlying just about every health and fitness goal is a person’s real WHY – CONFIDENCE.
And while I would say this is definitely the case for women, I think it is also true for men.
Even high level athletes train to have more confidence. Yes, they train to get stronger…But they really train because they want to be CONFIDENT that they can win.
A healthy lifestyle is all about confidence no matter what terms you actually use to describe your goal.
That is why having a measurable goal, which is broken down into SHORT-TERM goals, is so important.
A big part of confidence is seeing progress – seeing SUCCESS…no matter how small.
When we accomplish something, there is definitely a feeling of pride, a feeling of CONFIDENCE.
I know that is why I make a daily task list. I love the feeling of success and accomplishment that I get when I cross something off of my to-do list!
Even if it is something small. Honestly, I usually even start with the easiest and smallest task for the day because it is the least daunting and seems quick and painless. AND it gets the momentum going because once I’ve finished something and see the list start to get smaller, I feel even more motivated to continue.
Usually getting the momentum going is the hardest part, which is why it is so important to start with something small. Easy to accomplish tasks present a lower barrier to entry…aka they make it seem less intimidating to get started on a difficult task.
So while your long-term goal may be something that will take months or even years to accomplish (and may seem incredibly daunting at the moment), your short-term goals should be things you can accomplish daily or even weekly.
You NEED to have easy to accomplish short-term goals, especially at the beginning because those quick and easy victories will get the momentum rolling.
And when you start seeing success, no matter how small, your confidence will build. And as your confidence builds, you will perform better, feel better, and even look better.
So if you want to accomplish all those more “superficial” goals like losing weight, getting more toned, being healthier, you first have to target the real reason you want all of those things – CONFIDENCE!
P.S. By superficial I don’t mean not important…your health is VERY important and does drive people to eat better or workout, but if you build your confidence, those other goals don’t seem near as intimidating or out of reach!