I’m going to wrap up my wedding week reflections with probably one of the most important things I’ve learned, “You are never going to be happy if you can’t accept and LOVE YOURSELF.”
I stated the other day that I feel like fitness, the gym, working out, are sort of a microcosm. If you can learn to be confident and strong in the gym that confidence and strength will then translate into every day life.
And when I say that you have confidence in yourself, I’m not saying that you aren’t going to always work to improve yourself.
I’m just saying that you love yourself because of who and what you are and all of the effort you’ve put in to get there!
Because of ALL THE EFFORT YOU’VE PUT IN TO GET THERE…
Almost every day I hear women complain about things they want to change about themselves. Occasionally I hear women mention something they like about themselves.
But rarely do I ever hear women say anything about all the hard work they put in to become stronger, smarter, healthier, happier, BETTER each and every day!
And as I mentioned earlier this week, the journey is the BEST part.
Everyday we choose the person we are going to be. Everyday we have a chance to reinvent ourselves and become an even better version of ourselves.
Everyday you get another chance to be who you want to be and not worry about what anyone else thinks.
Over the years I can say I’ve become more and more comfortable with myself. And it’s not because I’m perfect or because I don’t have anything I want to improve about myself.
It is because I know how hard I work each and every day to become better and stronger. It is because I know how far I’ve come and how much I’ve accomplished.
It’s because I truly really don’t care what anyone else thinks as long as I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY.
And the bulk of my strength and confidence was developed on the playing field and in the gym.
I developed it by pushing myself to compete against people who were supposed to be better than me. I developed it by putting in hard work every single day so that no matter what happened, I could at least say I gave it my all. I developed it by putting myself out there and trying new things – things that were far outside my comfort zone.
I developed it by pushing myself beyond what I thought was possible to realize what I could truly achieve.
I thought a lot about all of this when planning…and carrying out…our wedding.
We did a lot of untraditional things. A lot of things other people might not like or may even “judge” us for…aka laugh AT us not WITH us.
But honestly I didn’t care because those things represented ME and RYAN.
Loving yourself is about ACCEPTING yourself. About knowing your strengths and your flaws and giving yourself credit for the journey.
Don’t let another day go by that you aren’t proud of the person you’ve become.
Challenge yourself every day. Work hard every day. Appreciate your journey.
These are things you can control. Other people and their perceptions, you can’t control. So don’t let them influence your opinion of yourself!
Here is a little video to hopefully entertain you on this Monday! Ryan and my first dance! We are far from champion dancers…but boy did we have fun!
When was the last time you did this? When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and was like, “I love everything about myself.”
Heck when was the last time that you looked in the mirror and didn’t instantly start focusing on all the things you would like to change?
Probably never or at least not very recently I’m guessing.
And that is just sad.
So often as adults all we focus on are the things about ourselves that we want to change – the things about ourselves that we don’t like.
When did we lose the courage to say, “I love myself?”
Because, honestly, I don’t believe it isn’t that we don’t see our good points. We do recognize our good points, we just don’t focus on them because we are afraid that everyone else sees our flaws and will think that we are cocky or full of ourselves or delusional if we say we love something about ourselves.
When in reality, we focus way more on our flaws than ANYONE else out there does.
We are our own harshest critics. And I firmly believe that.
We set our own limits. We push ourselves down.
We can say that magazines present unrealistic body images. We can can say society presents unrealistic standards.
And yes, those societal standards do seep into our brains as we age so that we can’t, with the same abandon as Jessica, say we love ourselves.
But despite what society tells you, I guarantee that there are traits that aren’t deemed beautiful or wonderful by society that you love about yourself. Yet, because society doesn’t value them, you are too afraid to admit your beauty out loud.
YOU hold yourself back.
When will it stop?
When will you muster the courage to admit that you love yourself? Flaws and all.
When will you stop picking and pushing and start enjoying and celebrating?
When will you stop setting boundaries and limits and instead look at the world and yourself for all that you have to offer?
Society isn’t going to change. Magazines. TV. Ads. Aren’t going to change….
Until we do.
So start creating change by changing your opinion of yourself. Tomorrow, look in that mirror and focus on what you LOVE not what you’d change…
And if you happen to do a little dance while looking in that mirror…well that is fine too!
No one’s judging except you.