Are We Our Own Worst Enemy?
So Saturday I hosted two workshops at the Limitless Women’s Conference.
The slogan for the conference was “I can. I will. I AM.”
And the goal of the conference was to inspire people to have more faith in themselves…To make people believe in themselves!
Because let’s face it…most people never make changes or better their lives not because they don’t have the ability or resources, not because someone else holds them back, not even because someone else tells them that they can’t…
But because they tell themselves, “I can’t. I won’t. I’m not.”
Most people are their own worst enemies.
We shoot ourselves down before we even give ourselves a shot. We look at our long-term goal and see just how far off we are from it, and maybe even think about the times before when we’ve failed, and give up either before we even gotten started or at the slightest sign of struggle.
We have it in our mind that success is a straight line and we get so focused on the end result that we can’t see all the small successes we achieve every day.
I mean think about it…How many times have you gotten down on yourself because you aren’t there YET instead of thinking about all the great things you’ve done today and the last few days, weeks and months to get yourself increasingly closer to your goal?
LIke all the time right!?!
Stop being your worst enemy and start believing in yourself!
And building that confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It also doesn’t happen just because you hit your big goal.
You actually build confidence through small victories.You need to celebrate even the tiniest of successes because even small successes build momentum and get you closer to your goal.
The small successes add up both in terms of actual results and MINDSET – actually most importantly in terms of MINDSET.
When you start to BELIEVE you CAN, you WILL.
When you set even the easiest, most simple goal and accomplish it, you will believe more in yourself.
It sounds stupid. But trust me it really really works.
When I have days where I’m stressed and I don’t even want to get started on work, I write down on my list some really stupid and simple tasks just so I can cross them off pretty early in the day and already feel like I’ve gotten a ton of stuff down.
For example, I check my email every morning when I wake up, but sometimes when I feel overloaded, I will actually write down on my daily task list, “check email” just so I can basically get up and cross something off my list. Seeing one thing done always motivates me to get started. And even then, I don’t necessarily do the things that NEED to be done first, I do the things that have the lowest barrier to entry first.
Because those small successes and accomplishments get the momentum going on days when I don’t even want to get started!
So start today. Make a list of easy and small things you can start doing that will at least prepare you to move forward on your goal.
Once you get the momentum going, the bigger changes won’t seem as daunting.
So stop telling yourself “NO..I can’t. I won’t. I’m not.”
Find even the smallest piece that you CAN DO today and start with that. Let everything else fall in to place as you progress.
One step at a time!!!
Calming the Nerves
So this Saturday is my first kettlebell competition. I’ve been excited about the challenge and I like training for something.
I also thought I wouldn’t be too nervous.
But I am.
And honestly, I’m surprised. I never really had anxiety while playing tennis in college. I mean maybe a few pre-match jitters if I really wanted to beat the team or new they were really good. But I never really suffered from “nerves.”
I had some for the powerlifting competition, but I don’t remember them being this bad. Although maybe that had something to do with the fact that I had to drastically cut weight the week before and had never done that so was more focused on not eating and sweating out as much as I could than on the actually competition. (I was also very focused on making sure I had the proper equipment to compete so I guess I really didn’t have time even to truly think about being nervous.)
Anyway, I think I was mostly just taken off guard by the anxiety.
I have a solid goal for myself for the competition – I want to hit 88 reps in the 10 minutes. It isn’t an outrageous goal, I’ve hit it in practice a couple of times.
But for some reason knowing that I CAN do it and HAVE done it, doesn’t relieve my anxiety.
And on top of that, I don’t even have to lose much weight to make weight!
So really, there is nothing to be nervous about!!!
I mean logically I know there is no point to wasting any energy being nervous. I know I’ve trained as hard as I can and eaten well and done everything I can to be ready.
Nerves aren’t logical!
And facing a new and slightly unknown challenge is always scary.
But just like the powerlifting competition, I always feel so much stronger when I’ve managed to push myself to do something outside of my comfort zone – when I’ve managed to push through the nerves.
I mean…Isn’t that how we really grow?
P.S. Here is a great article that one of the owners posted to our team page today. It really motivated me and made me calm down a bit!
So when you tell most people to do some sort of visualization they roll their eyes and think it is kind of stupid and hokey.
It seems like a stupid mind trick…And most people think it won’t work on them.
I, myself, am not the hugest fan of the close my eyes and picture myself doing something type of visualization even though I do realize it can make a difference.
Visualization CAN and has been proven to help improve performance and adherence to goals.
But most people refuse to use it because they think that visualization only means closing their eyes and picturing themselves performing well or doing the workouts or even simply eating well. It doesn’t have to be picturing yourself once you’ve lost the weight or are able to deadlift 300lbs. 🙂
Visualization can be done in SO many ways.
All you need to do is create a VISUAL of your success or even simply of your adherence to your program.
For me it is posting the numbers I want to hit at the kettlebell competition somewhere where I can see them every day.
Numbers that mark success, even if it is just the success of hitting a short-term goal, can be great motivation.
For some people a great visual is hanging up the skinny jeans they are trying to fit into again in a place where they can see them all the time.
For others it is putting stones or coins in a jar marking how many pounds they want to lose. Each time they lose a pound, they remove a stone or coin from the jar. Seeing that jar become more and more empty is a motivating visual!
I honestly love visuals. I write out diets on calendars that I hang up. That way I know exactly what I should be eating that day. And every day I stick to it perfectly, it is so satisfying to go cross it off!
It is just so motivating when you feel even the slightest bit down or off to be able to SEE something that reminds you of where you want to be and all of the hard work you’ve been putting in to get there.
When you can see the goal, can see your success, you are going to be way less likely to give up or not work as hard as you can to keep the progress going.
Visualization is simply creating a visual of something that keeps you dedicated. Something that helps you SEE SUCCESS.
It may be a mind trick, but trust me…it can really work.
I mean think about it…Wouldn’t seeing your progress and your goal every day make you want to work just a little harder?