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It’s Better Together
You can work toward your goals alone. You can rely only on yourself for motivation.
You CAN go it alone.
BUT the question is why would you want to do that when there are so many amazing people out there to encourage and support you?
A bit ago I wrote about cutting out the crabs from your life – about cutting out the people who don’t support you and try to hold you back.
That post wasn’t about cutting out everyone and going it alone. It was actually about finding a new SUPPORTIVE community.
You should be selective about who you have around you and value the people who lift you up and make you better.
But you SHOULD find people to surround yourself with that will support you.
Because the journey is better together.
When you need advice or feel like you don’t know your next step, it’s nice to have someone to turn to.
When you don’t feel like sticking to your plan or have a rough day and need motivation, it’s nice to have someone to turn to.
When you’ve had setback and hit obstacles, it is nice to have someone to turn to.
Someone to turn to who’s gone through what you’ve gone through. Someone who understands the difficulties and can help you stay motivated and moving forward. Someone who supports your goals and will try to push you forward.
Someone who wants to share in your highs and your lows and BELIEVES IN YOU AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
Find people who support you unconditionally.
And by “unconditionally,” I don’t mean they won’t ever question or push or force you to think. Because unconditional support doesn’t mean they believe everything you do is perfect. It doesn’t mean they don’t tell you when you are being stupid.
Actually unconditional support means they care about you enough to help set you right!
It means they are going to question and challenge. They are going to make you think. But they are doing it to make you better, not to drag you down.
And this unconditional support network can come from anywhere. It can be a group we join, a community on an app we use. It can be a blog, our family, our friends.
It can be online or offline…Heck you can have numerous support groups for different things!
The thing is…It’s better together!
Get the support you deserve to help you move forward with your journey!
Now the question is, who is in your support network? What online/offline communities are you a part of? How has this community helped push you forward?
It’s Not About a RIGHT Answer – It’s About Asking WHY
In terms of dieting and working out there are a lot of RIGHT answers.
However, there is very little understanding about WHY certain things are correct.
Take for instance this question “How many exercises should be included in a workout?”
A correct answer could really be anything. You could say all you need is ONE exercise.
But you could also say you sometimes need 15.
It just all depends on what you are trying to accomplish with the workout.
Same goes for diet.
I’ve told you I’m not a huge fan of “Paleo” baked goods. And I have my reasons WHY.
And honestly it isn’t so much the baked goods as the fact that most people don’t really understand WHY they are even doing Paleo that irritates me.
Everything with diet and exercise sort of circles back to WHY with me.
Why are you doing something?
Do you understand the studies and rationale behind what you are doing?
Since there is no one right answer, you have to pick the right answer for YOU. And you can’t do that if you just choose something and follow it blindly.
You can only truly find the right thing for you if you understand the reasoning behind what you are doing – the WHY.
Nothing irritates me more than people who just follow the fads and never ask WHY.
Understand WHY you are doing something people! There are lots of things that can work and if you don’t understand why, you probably aren’t going to pick the best option for you. You are simply going to pick something you’ve heard works for others!
Heck you might even end up doing something that sets you back because you don’t understand the rationale behind it!
So this week, think about your program.
Do you understand WHY you are doing what you’re doing?
And ask yourself, “Is it really working?”
Because if it isn’t working and you don’t understand why you are doing what you’re doing, you may not know how to change things for the better.
So start doing some research. Figure out the WHY behind your program so you can change things as needed and start really progressing toward your goals.
Do you know WHY your program is set up the way it is? Is there a method and rationale behind it?
And is it helping you reach success?
Fitspo, Eternal Optimism and Reaching Your Goals
The other day I encountered the fitspo below.
I had mixed reactions to it.
One reaction was, “Yea f@#! all those people who don’t believe!”
Another other was, “Yea but that is crappy external motivation. You have to do it for you.”
And a third was, “How long does that motivation truly last? I mean it doesn’t help you find your internal motivation and confidence…”
While beating the odds and defying others expectations can fire us up, it isn’t truly lasting motivation.
It isn’t motivation we can count on.
Because even though it motivates, criticism isn’t positive.
It plants a negative seed in our mind. It plants doubts and fears even if it drives us to prove them wrong.
And in times of doubt, those seeds will grow, potentially causing us to fail.
True success depends on us being positive because plateaus and hiccups and even failures are going to happen. Wanting to defy someone else’s doubts isn’t going to keep you going when the going gets rough.
Because wanting to defy someone else’s doubts is almost like admitting you have them too. When reaching your goal means believing in yourself, knowing you can do it, even when setbacks occur.
I heard a quote awhile back about how successful entrepreneurs must be eternal optimists.
The same could be said, in my opinion, about anyone who is successful at reaching their goals.
This eternal optimism is a key trait that helps them to persevere as the inevitable complications appear when they start to build their vision into a reality. – Marcos Galperin
External optimism.
Believing, hoping, KNOWING, you can and you will make yourself and your world a better place.
Knowing you will do what it takes to reach your goal.
Knowing that even when life/people/whatever get you down, you are going to get right back up and persevere.
Success isn’t about not getting knocked down. It is about getting back up and never giving up.
People may make fun of you for your external optimism. People may put you down and tell you that you can’t. People may doubt because they never had the positivity and drive to do it themselves.
But it doesn’t matter what other people think. It doesn’t matter if you prove them right or wrong.
It only matters that you BELIEVE you can be better…That you want to be better. And that you never give up on your goal.
And when I say this, I say this as a person who knows it isn’t easy to pull yourself back up. As a person who has fallen more times than I can count. As a person who has always gotten back up no matter how bruised, bloodied and destroyed I am.
Because even though I may be bruised and battered. Even though my self-confidence and attitude may seem like they are in the gutter….I always believe I can make things better.
Somewhere deep down inside there is always that burning flame, that drive, to make myself and my world a better place.
And while I may mope around for a day after a big blow, after I feel my world seems to be collapsing around me, there is always that glimmer of hope.
A glimmer of hope shining not from without, but from within.
That external optimism, that eternal belief that you CAN, which simply makes failures a learning experience NOT the end to your goals and dreams.
Be thankful this week for all those failures. For all those times you managed to pull yourself back up.
Be thankful for all those bad times because those bad times showed you how strong you could be. Those bad times that showed you that somewhere, deep down, you really do believe in yourself to be able to get back up.
Be thankful this week and remember that you are your own best fitspo not some stupid picture telling you to prove someone else wrong.
Because let’s face it….
Need motivation? Use one of my Top 10!
Ok so these are the things that motivate me to work out even when I’m not feeling at the top of my game. These aren’t necessarily in a specific order. Depending on how you feel that day, some things may work better than others!
- Goals – Having goals clearly laid out keeps me on track. I also make sure to hang my goals up so that I see them every day. I also share my goals with friends and family so that I have some pressure or commitment to succeed. Clearly defined goals are a great way to stay on track because you have something specific to work toward!
- Friends and family – Friends and family can be a great motivator to work out. Knowing that Ryan, Candy and Brian are working out hard makes me not want to slack. I also love working out with them! So why would I ever want to skip doing something fun with friends and family!?! I also find that sticking to Primal is way easier because I’m doing it with someone else. Ryan and I keep each other on track during days of weakness.
- Being Healthy – There is no greater motivation than knowing that working out (and eating right!) is making you healthier so that you can lead a long, active life! It isn’t the most attractive reason to workout or eat well (let’s face it…looking good is), but it probably is the most important reason to do those things! And the thing is that every day you eat well or every time you workout, you are improving your health even if you didn’t lose a pound that week!
- Feeling Good – I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better when I workout. My body feels strong from lifting heavy weights and pushing through intense workouts. I feel like I can leap tall buildings in a single bound…ok maybe not that good, but you get the point! When you workout and eat well, your body just feels so darn good! You have energy to power through long days and the strength to do any physical activity presented to you!
- Looking Good – This is probably the reason most used by people to motivate themselves to workout. Unfortunately, it also doesn’t have great staying power. I definitely remind myself that all of my working out and eating well is what keeps me looking fit, but you need to find some deeper motivation to really keep you committed to a program. So use this HUGE motivator to get you started and keep you committed on days when you’re lagging, but don’t let this be your only motivation!
- Stress relief – Too often people think of working out and eating right as chores. For me working out and eating well relieves stress. When I work out, I clear my head and I get the endorphins flowing. When I eat well, I’m not worried about whether or not I’m going to feel and look good because if I’m eating the right foods I know I will!
- Competition (with yourself) – What better motivator is there than competition? Not only competition with your workout buddies but also with yourself. I keep a workout log and each and every time I lift, I want to beat my numbers from the lifts before. It motivates me to constantly push myself so that I do better than last time!
- Seeing results – When you see results (or even maintain the great results you already have), you are going to stick with the program. Find different ways to measure “results.” Take body measurements. Keep a workout log. Track how well you did on your diet that week. When you see positive changes, you will be motivated to continue. Not seeing results can also be a motivator…to start a new program.
- Quality of life – Enjoying life to its fullest! This and “being healthy” are not the most glamorous motivators but they are the ones that truly keep you dedicated. When you eat well and workout intensely, you feel good. You feel empowered, which makes you really tackle all of the challenges of life. I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve had that have started working out and eating right and just feel so much happier and content with life. Plus, they are able to be more active and enjoy more time with their families doing activities they couldn’t do before!
- Photos of your role models – So when I need a burst of motivation, I turn to this one. There is nothing like seeing one of your role models, looking amazing and strong, to make you want to stick to your diet and hit the gym! (Candy did some searching yesterday for this type of motivation!)
Candy’s motivation: Lindsay Smith
Man Bicep 