Blog Archives
How long will it take me to reach my goals?
I hate this question.
To me this question means, “I don’t like to work hard and have given up in the past and want you to have some secret that will make me better almost instantly.”
Do you think I am reading too much into this statement.
Not one bit.
When people ask this question, it means they really aren’t ready to commit to all of the hard work, dedication and time it will take to reach their goals. They aren’t willing to sacrifice or really change anything that they are currently doing.
I never ask how long will it take me. I sometimes think, “Ok how long should this take me or what is a realistic time-table.” But never how long will it take me.
The more I think about the question, the more I hate it.
And usually I respond back to the person, “Well how hard are you willing to work and how dedicated will you stay to the program when I’m not there.”
I usually get a whole bunch of “Uhmmmm” and “I don’t know” and “How hard will it be?”
Honestly, that to me means that you won’t achieve your goals unless we change your attitude.
Accomplishing any goal is HARD WORK. It usually takes time and a clearly laid out plan. It will involve a lot of ups and downs and times when you want to just give up.
I mean do you ever really achieve your goal and go “Well I’m done. Back to not working out and eating badly.”
I most certainly hope not!
Most health and fitness goals don’t have a set end date. They are ongoing.
So please don’t ask how long it will take to get you to your goals. Set a goal and lay out a plan. Work each and every day toward that goal in some small way.
And guess what?
You’ll get there when you get there but you’ll feel good every day knowing that you are working toward something that matters. You’ll feel good knowing that you were willing to sacrifice and work hard!
Taking that first step
Great cartoon!
How many times have you looked at a task and thought, “I can’t do that” or “That is going to be so killer and I won’t try it today”?
Probably too many times.
I don’t like being on a piece of cardio equipment for more than 2 seconds. Honestly, I could never step foot on a piece of cardio equipment and be more than happy.
But one of the basic tasks I have to complete is a quarter-mile on the VersaClimber.
Have I mentioned that the VersaClimber is one of the newest activities that I have a love/hate relationship with?
Well I do.
And since I first tried the VersaClimber and realized I had to spend more time on it than a minute, I sort of had started to tell myself I would never survive the quarter-mile.
I told myself, “I hate cardio.” “I can never zone out when I do stuff like that.” “I always am miserable doing that.” “I won’t be able to do very well.”
Finally I told myself to shut up.
Why was I having such negative thoughts? Why was I psyching myself out!?! I was making the whole thing worse by thinking so negatively.
I needed to JUST DO IT! If I couldn’t do it then I couldn’t do it, but I would never know until I actually TRIED.
And on Monday night, I did it. I didn’t set any expectations, I just did it. Whatever time I got, I was going to be proud that I took on the challenge instead of just saying “I can’t” and never trying.
I took the first step toward success – Actually TRYING the activity!
And I did a GREAT job. (Not to brag, but I’m pretty happy with how I did!). Here I’d thought I’d never survive, but instead I kept a pace that set me up to do a mile in under 40 minutes (which gets you up on our wall at our gym). Of course I’d need a some more training to do it, but I’d shown myself it was possible!
After I finished, I couldn’t believe just how negative I’d been beforehand. Why hadn’t I embraced the challenge? Why had I psyched myself out of even taking the first step?
What if I had let my negative mental attitude keep me from taking on the challenge?
Then I would never have known if I could do it. I would never have tested a new mental and physical limit.
Sometimes you need to cast aside all expectations and JUST DO IT. Don’t say “I CAN’T.” Just TRY IT!
Take that first step.
And this applies to everything in life. Any goal you have, if you don’t take that first step toward achieving it then of course you will never get there! If you want it, take that first step!
If you “fail,” get back up the next time and just go a bit further.
Trying but not succeeding isn’t a failure. It is a learning experience.
Never trying it….well that is a true failure.
Take the first step…Go for it!
Unfortunately, I am human (or so I think)
I haven’t posted a recipe in a while. Unfortunately, I haven’t been doing as much cooking as I had planned to since Ryan and I are staying with his very wonderful, generous and hospitable family until our lease starts.
So since I’m not always in control of cooking the dinners, there are always temptations around.
And unfortunately, I am human.
I don’t find it necessarily a sacrifice to forgo the flour tortillas or the bun on the burger, but boy do I have a hard time passing up guacamole and chips, homemade baked goods or frozen yogurt.
There are just certain trigger foods that you just can’t seem to ever resist.
And I’ve been indulging, in my opinion, way too often.
So yesterday Ryan and I made a pact to eat completely Primally this next week with no small indulgences.
Maybe this works for me because I’m competitive, but committing to eat well with someone else always seems to motivate me. I don’t want to cheat because I don’t want to let the other person down and because I don’t want to “lose” the bet.
By committing to eat well with Ryan, I’ve not only gained a support system to help me achieve my goals but I’ve also made myself RESPONSIBLE for being someone else’s support system. By eating well together, we have found a way to hold not only ourselves, but also each other, ACCOUNTABLE.
There are many ways you can hold yourself accountable.
Telling other people about your goals is one way.
BUT I’ve found that telling other people works even better if you can get them INVOLVED in helping you accomplish your goals.
When people are involved in helping you accomplish your goals, they are much more likely to stay on top of you to achieve them. Also, if you can get them to try to accomplish the same goals, you then have even more RESPONSIBILITY toward them.
For instance, with Ryan and I both working to eat perfectly Primal this week, I won’t want to eat badly because then he will know I failed AND because I don’t want to eat badly and tempt him to then cheat as well.
The accountability along with the added responsibility of helping him achieve his own goals keeps me on track to achieve mine.
So next time you attempt to achieve something that maybe you’ve failed at accomplishing before, get a friend or family member to work toward the same goal with you! Holding yourself accountable and making yourself responsible are key to achieving your goals!
Perfection
We all “know” that no one is perfect – that we will never be perfect.
Yet we all try to achieve perfection in our diet and exercise programs.
If we “know” that perfection is unattainable, WHY ARE WE PRESSURING OURSELVES TO ATTAIN IT!?!
DON’T DO IT!!
Slip ups, mistakes are going to happen, but they don’t mean that we’ve failed or that we should just give up trying because we weren’t able to be “perfect.”
I’ve tried to attain perfection according to other diet and exercise programs and I’ve always fallen short. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but I just couldn’t follow their rules every day, all day. There were just times when I was too worn out/stressed/busy/on vacation to be able to stick to all of the rules.
So what happened when I slipped up?
I gave up.
But I realized I would never achieve my goals if I gave up every time I made a “mistake” – every time I cheated on my diet or missed a workout.
I couldn’t let one cheat or one missed workout lead to a week of bingeing or a week off from working out.
I had to change the expectations I had for myself.
I could seek perfection, but my definition of perfection had to include room for cheats and missed workouts. I couldn’t expect myself to be perfect 100% of the time.
BUT I could expect myself to achieve perfection 80% of the time with room for cheats or missed workouts 20% of the time.
I didn’t necessarily want to encourage cheats or missed workouts, but I had to expect that from time to time they may happen and that I could still reach my goals if I was “perfect” 80% of the time.
I stopped looking at reaching my health and fitness goals as an all or nothing thing, but a journey that I had to enjoy.
Plus I found that expecting perfection only 80% of the time lessened the pressure I felt and actually helped me stick to my program more consistently than I ever had before.
If I went on vacation, I didn’t force myself to stick to my diet if there was a dessert I really wanted to indulge in. I didn’t force myself to workout if we were all enjoying lounging by the pool.
But I found that because I wasn’t “forcing myself” to do certain things, I almost had more desire to do them even while on vacation than I ever had before.
And because I allowed myself to enjoy the times I did choose to cheat, it was easy to go straight back to my diet and exercise program when I got back from vacation.
I found a way to strict a balance between perfection and enjoyment of life. You can achieve your goals without sacrificing everything that you enjoy to do so.
You just have to accept that there will be setbacks along the way. And you can’t let them get you down. There will be mistakes and cheats and missed workouts that might upset you at that moment, but they won’t matter if you just accept them and move on.
Perfection isn’t important. Getting right back on track when you cheat or miss a workout is what matters.
It is what makes you stronger and will help you accomplish your goals.
So don’t force yourself to be perfect 100% of the time. Seek perfection 80% of the time and you will find much more success and enjoyment.
All or Nothing
I’d love to tell you that every day I wake up wanting to workout intensely and eat well.
But I don’t.
I don’t think anyone does. (And if you do, consider yourself lucky!)
It can be hard coming back from an injury or a vacation to get back into the groove. Shoot…it can even just be hard to motivate yourself because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed!
There is a way though that we can get ourselves to do and eat the right things even when we are totally unmotivated – we can take BABY STEPS.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing!
Sometimes we can go right back to the workout intensity that we were at before we went on vacation or took some time off.
But sometimes the idea of an intense workout can prevent us from starting up our workout program again. Sometimes we take an extra week off or stop working out all together because we feel unmotivated to work out at the same intensity we were before.
So what do you do to get yourself back on track?
DON’T FORCE YOURSELF TO WORKOUT AT THE SAME INTENSITY!
TAKE BABY STEPS!
So you get back from vacation and know you should workout the next day. You don’t have to go right back into your lifting and circuit routine.
Start out with just 10 sprints. Or just do half of what you usually do.
Anything is better than nothing. AND once you get through that first workout, you will reawaken the desire you had before you took time off.
The same goes for if you’ve had a long day and don’t feel like hitting the gym before going home.
Do something short. Something is better than nothing and it will still keep you on track!
Not every workout has to be the toughest thing you’ve ever done. Short and relaxed workouts can be a great way to get back into something or to keep yourself on track if you are feeling unmotivated.
You can do the same thing with diet that you do with exercise. Sometimes you can just go cold turkey and stop eating all of the crap food you’ve been consuming.
Other times you need to ween yourself off all of the wonderful foods you’ve indulged in.
If clients have a hard time changing their diet, I’ll tell them to give up one thing at a time. Big changes can occur when someone simply gives up soda if they drink it each day.
Making small changes is great. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing!
That is really what it comes down to. You can take baby steps and reach your goal. You don’t have to be “perfect” all of the time.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
What’s in a name?
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
– Juliet (Romeo and Juliet)
When people hear the name “Paleo Diet” or “Primal Diet,” they scoff and say, “Oh that is that crazy Caveman diet right?”
BUT if I tell people, “Oh I eat only whole, natural foods and avoid gluten, processed foods and vegetable oils” they nod their head in agreement.
UHM HELLO!?! Basically what I’m doing is eating the exact Primal diet that they scoffed at!! The only difference is…..
I DIDN’T CALL IT PRIMAL!
One word can define how people view a diet, workout program even a way of living!
Once mainstream media deemed the Primal/Paleo diet the “Caveman diet” people began to scoff at it even if they will nod in agreement when you list off all of the principles of the diet.
The same thing is true if you say you eat a “low-carb” diet.
People instantly say, “Oh like Atkins?” or “So you don’t eat fruits and veggies?”
BUT if you say you avoid “unhealthy carbs,” again people nod in agreement. (Of course my definition of unhealthy carbs is most often different from theirs, but still…)
There are just so many things that annoy me with the above situation.
For one, if people did any research, they would know that Atkins has now changed and DOES allow carbs as well as a plan to help you add them back in to an appropriate level after the initial weight loss.
For two, why does low-carb instantly mean to people that you cut out fruits and vegetables!?!
Trust me you can eat low-carb but still eat tons of fruits and vegetables! Honestly, I eat more fruits and vegetables since going “low-carb” than I ever did when I ate lots of carbs and low-fat!
In one cup of broccoli, there is only 6g of carbs versus one cup of brown rice in which there are 45g of carbs!
So I could eat 7 cups of broccoli throughout the day and still eat fewer carbs than if I had ONE cup of brown rice!
And personally I think having just two cups of broccoli is better nutritionally than one cup of brown rice (AND fewer carbs!)
And diet isn’t the only place that I see “names” being misconstrued.
Honestly, I believe that the same thing has happened as Crossfit has become more and more popular.
It is so funny the different reactions I get from other trainers when I say “intense circuits” versus “Crossfit-style workouts.”
To me, Crossfit means pushing your limits. Trying new things. Constantly varying up the workout. Lifting heavy things and sprinting often.
It means intense circuits that are never the same and constantly challenge your fitness level.
But that isn’t what it means to most trainers.
To most trainers, Crossfit means injury and Olympic lifts with bad form.
But what in this DEFINITION of what Crossfit TRULY is supposed to be says that?
CrossFit describes its strength and conditioning program as “constantly varied, high intensity, functional movement,”with the stated goal of improving fitness (and therefore general physical preparedness), which it defines as “work capacity across broad time and modal domains.”Workouts are typically short—20 minutes or less—and intense, demanding all-out physical exertion. They combine movements such as sprinting, rowing, jumping rope, climbing rope, weightlifting, and carrying odd objects; they use barbells, dumbbells, gymnastics rings, pull-up bars, kettlebells, medicine balls, and many bodyweight exercises.These elements are mixed in numerous combinations to form prescribed “Workouts of the Day” or “WODs”. Hour-long classes at affiliated gyms, or “boxes,” typically include a warm-up, a skill development segment, the high-intensity WOD, and a period of individual or group stretching. Performance on each WOD is often scored and/or ranked to encourage competition and to track individual progress. Some affiliates offer additional classes, such as Olympic weightlifting, which are not centered around a WOD.
Uhm I swear I’ve heard the exact trainers that condemn Crossfit utter this exact same phrase to describe their strength and conditioning program “constantly varied, high intensity, functional movement,”with the stated goal of improving fitness (and therefore general physical preparedness).”
Am I wrong?
Nope!
But because a few people practice something in a way that some consider “wrong,” a whole movement gets condemned.
There are always going to be people who do things that you don’t agree with….in any movement or facet of life.
But that doesn’t mean you can just ignore and belittle something without learning more!
How many things have you not tried because of one word associated with them? How many times have you not done the research to find out the principles behind the diet/lifestyle/workout?
Also, can we ever really accept that one word represents an entire movement? Let’s face it…Primal SHOULDN’T mean the exact same thing to ever person. Neither should “low-carb” or “Crossfit”……
Training as Therapy
This post today comes about because I started thinking about how much I will miss my clients when I moved. I’ve seen my clients grow and become more empowered. I’ve seen them become stronger, fitter, healthier individuals.
I’ve seen my clients fall in love with lifting and believe more in themselves!
We’ve shared personal stories, hopes and fears. We’ve shared our insecurities about our bodies. We’ve overcome set backs and celebrated victories.
We’ve SHARED and GROWN together.
But anyway, the relationships I’ve had with my clients here in Boston just made me think about how much training can be therapy.
….
Working out is a chance for you to take some time out of the day and do something for yourself.
It is a chance for you to solely focus on yourself and let go of all of the stresses and responsibilities of the day.
It is a chance to be selfish! In a good way!
And women, who have the hardest time dedicating that hour to something exclusively for them, need it more than anything!
Many women DON’T take time out of the day for themselves. They work all day and then go home and cater to their families at night.
There is no “me” time.
And if you want to truly feel good, you need to take some “me” time!
For many of my clients, our hour together is about more than just exercise. It is about doing something for themselves.
And having someone there to guide them and socialize with makes that hour into even better therapy.
I don’t often recommend working with a personal trainer BUT I do think there are instances and circumstances where it can be one of the best and most rewarding investments out there.
As a personal trainer, I’m there to push you to stay committed and reach your goals. I’m there to help you become a healthier, fitter person. I’m there to help you become a happier, more empowered person.
I’m there FOR YOU and you alone.
Yes, my goal for that hour is to give you a great workout.
But more importantly, I’m there to get you to focus on you.
So please stop thinking of working out, with or without a trainer, as some frivolous luxury.
It isn’t.
Training is for your health both mental and physical.
Yes, working out is something you need to do FOR YOU.
But only when you take time out for yourself and make yourself happy can you be there to support everyone else!
So women, you may be the rock of your family, but you can’t be a rock forever if you don’t take care of yourself!
Letting Go – Making a Change
I think the hardest thing to do is CHANGE.
Change is hard, but this quote is spot on!
It’s part of why it is hard for most women to start weight training. It is why it is hard for most people to ditch conventional wisdom and start eating Paleo/Primal.
It is why a lot of big life decisions are hard in general! To make big changes, to get big results, you can’t be afraid to let go of what you know, think or believe. You’ve got to be ready to take risks and suffer some consequences.
Below are the 10 most important “changes” you need to make to become a stronger, fitter, more empowered you. Of course this is my opinion…but then again, I’m always right, right!?! 😛
- Ditch the disbelievers. This one is first because I think this is probably the hardest thing for me. I hold onto people even when they are holding me back. If you want success though, sometimes you have to go it alone. Don’t give in and cheat on your diet just because your friends are trying to get you to eat badly. Don’t be afraid to lift those heavy weights even though your friends tell you that you will bulk up. Don’t be afraid to ditch the disbelievers and go it on your own! You can do it! You are strong enough!
- Try something outside your comfort zone. If you really want to find out what you are made of, try something new. I know it’s scary, but the only way to find out what you are truly capable of is to try something you either haven’t done or aren’t comfortable with doing!
- Keep an open mind about EVERYTHING. Be willing to try new things! Experiment! There is always new information coming out about everything. Research everything. Read different points of view or find out works by trying it on yourself! If you weren’t somewhat open-minded already, you probably wouldn’t be reading this site! 🙂
- Have confidence in yourself and try something just beyond what you KNOW you can do. While it’s nice to stick with what we know we can do, you will never find out just how truly strong you are if you don’t push beyond what you’ve already proven you can do! This doesn’t mean just lifting a heavier weight in the gym. It also means tackling an activity that you’ve maybe never done before or are unsure if you can do!
- Admit to yourself that you don’t, and can’t, ever know anything for certain. Deep huh? This one actually kind of sucks, but it’s true. I like to believe I know everything, but deep down I know I don’t. Nothing is ever set in stone. Everything can change. We are constantly learning or at least we should be. If you think you know everything, you are wrong. Be willing to change and adapt your beliefs as you learn and you will grow as a person.
- Accept that you will be wrong and enjoy your failures. This one is hard. No one ever enjoys failing. I most definitely hate it. I don’t like failing or being wrong. BUT I know that I will be at times. I know that I will fail, BUT I know that each time I get back up and try again, I become stronger. As cheesy as it sounds, look at each failure not so much as a failure, but as a learning experience. If you want to accomplish something persistence is key!
- Learn. Learn every moment of every day. Learn by doing research, experimenting, failing and achieving success. And the thing is, by doing all this learning, you will learn more about yourself. Through all of my “learning” I’ve developed a stronger identity. It may always be a slightly shifting and growing identity, but the more I learn, the clearer it becomes!
- Forget, but never forget. Learn to let go of the negative emotions surrounding a failure. Forget the emotions so that they don’t hold you back. You can’t change what happened. You can only move forward. But even though you need to release the emotions, NEVER forget how hard you worked. Never forget what the goal meant to you. KEEP PUSHING ONWARD! Change your game-plan but never give up!
- Accept your fears. This is another one that can be hard. This is a random story BUT…I’m afraid of snakes. I hate them. I have no idea why, but I really really really (I could go on with the reallys) hate them. I almost didn’t go on a hike in Red Rock Canyon because it was prime snake season. But I did go despite the fact that I was sure I was going to be bitten and die in Las Vegas. Most people fear dying in Vegas for a ton of other reasons…but not me…I was sure a snake would get me. And if I hadn’t gone on that hike…I would have missed out on one of the best memories I have during my life!
- Build a network. These 10 changes come full circle. As you develop the “new” stronger, fitter, more empowered you, you have to build a new network of people who support and push you to grow further. The “push” part of that equation is very important. You always want people around you that challenge you and motivate you to achieve your goals not just stand still! An example of a network that has helped me grow is my lifting classes. Those ladies, and my two Man Bicep Males!, have helped me grow so much. I also pride myself on believing that I’ve helped them also grow into stronger, fitter and more confident individuals!
So what changes have you made toward becoming a stronger, fitter, more empowered individual?
Go figure…Conventional wisdom I hate
Ok so the phrase/sentiment I hate below isn’t really conventional wisdom BUT it is uttered all too frequently!
Don’t be fooled by this picture. It doesn’t have that much to do with the post. I just like it.
So yesterday I hopped on the treadmill at the end of my workout to jog a mile. I’ve been trying to casually run occasionally because I want to be good at it even if I don’t enjoy it. (Also, I think I’m hoping I’ll learn to love it…not working yet…)
While I was jogging on the treadmill, and drenched in sweat from my workout, one of the trainers at my gym said to me,”Feeling guilty about the weekend, huh?” He then smiled and laughed.
I think the first emotion that registered across my face was shock. And then I got defensive.
Yes, I did go to New York this past week. And yes, I did eat all of the delicious foods that I know are bad for me.
But, did I feel guilty about it?
HARDLY.
I had throughly enjoyed myself. Why would I feel guilty?
After I got defensive, I got angry.
WHAT THE HECK KIND OF COMMENT WAS THAT?!?
I’ve never understood that attitude – the attitude of “if I eat badly I’ll just go on the treadmill and sweat it off and then I’ll be skinny again.”
Do people actually really think that works?
Unfortunately they do…
But it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just eat whatever you want and then just go and work it off. That doesn’t make you healthy!!!
I honestly believe it is actually the worst mentality to have.
It places all the importance on calories in vs. calories. Also, maintaining a healthy weight doesn’t mean you are healthy!
And most importantly you can’t exercise off a bad meal!!!
If you really want to “make up” for a bad meal or weekend, eat well for the next few weeks!!!
Have you ever been guilty of thinking a workout will make up for poor eating choices? If so, WHY!?!
P.S. Is anyone else amused by this article?!
Diet books – BLEH!
Don’t waste your money on diet books. Go buy some grass-fed beef!
So yesterday I went to Barnes and Noble to get a Paleo/Primal diet book for one of my clients to read. After seeing the Crossfit games, and my long lectures, she finally decided to give the whole “caveman eating thing” a shot.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
But when I got to the store I was overwhelmed by a whole lot of crap. All of the “advertised” books were fad, low-fat diets!
The book that I wanted, that they CLAIMED to have in stock was nowhere to be found.
I was overwhelmed by all of the conventional wisdom/fad diets lining the shelves.
I had the desire to run through the diet aisles knocking every book off the shelves and then sprint out of the store.
Or I wanted to grab an armful of the stupid books and throw them in the trash.
Either one would have felt really satisfying.
Of course I probably would have gotten arrested or something, but still….It would have felt good!
I didn’t do it though. Instead I managed to focus enough to find one of the HEALTHY DIET books I was looking for.
With that huge load of diet crap out there though, no wonder Americans are confused about what the right diet is!
Actually it is almost kind of depressing that we turn to brightly colored books with neon words stating “Lose 15 lbs in 2 day!” instead of just eating the foods that come naturally from the earth!
I mean honestly it is simple. Just do an experiment. Eat all the crap they recommend for 30 days and then go eat all of the natural foods that I recommend for 30 days.
Which makes you feel better? Which do you think you can maintain for longer than the 30 days?
I think I know the answer….
Actually I’ve lived the answer. Heck I used to buy diet books and read every article in all of the women’s health magazines looking for some secret new trick.
BUT IT DOESN’T EXIST!
Anyway, don’t take my word for it. Try an experiment yourself. You’ll see.
Oh and just a random side note…
While I complain about all of the crap diet books there were lining the shelves, there definitely were more Paleo/Primal/Caveman books out there than ever before.
I could make a very cynical comment about how there are now books being published about this healthy diet because there is now a market to make money off of….but I’ll keep my mouth shut.
What is next though? A Caveman Lifestyles magazine? Or maybe even a Caveman Vogue?
Hey I’m not saying I don’t get it. But I just think everyone needs to realize that everyone out there who is pushing something has an agenda.
Even me.
I obviously want you to believe that eating my way and lifting heavy weights is the BEST way.
And of course it is…. 🙂
Man Bicep 