Category Archives: Mindset
Downplaying Our Beauty
So the other day in the car, Ryan and I were listening to a radio segment about beautiful people being treated differently.
And while the segment itself was completely absurd and light-hearted, I was amazed by all the people calling in and claiming to be beautiful and that it had caused them problems.
I briefly thought, “Who the heck would call in to this!?!”
But then part of me also thought, “Good for them thinking they are amazing looking and not being afraid to say it!”
Rarely if ever do you truly run into someone who believes they are beautiful and are willing to state it out loud. Most of the time instead women downplay their beauty and instead focus on their flaws.
It’s like they are scared to come off as cocky or overly confident. It is as if they don’t want to take a stand in case someone else doesn’t agree with them and instead sees their flaws.
Even when complimented often women will downplay things instead of just saying, “Fuck yea…I’m awesome!”
Why is it that so many women downplay their strengths?
Why isn’t it thought to be acceptable for us to state out loud with our head held high that we agree when someone compliments us and that we know we are awesome?
Is it fear of someone not agreeing with us that holds us back? Is it fear that we will come off as cocky?
Or is it simply that we don’t recognize our own beauty or our own strengths?
Whatever it is, today take a second and say out loud, “I’m fucking amazing and beautiful and today I will kick butt!”
Because, guess what?
YOU WILL.
Claim the day ladies (and that goes for you too gentlemen!).
Today recognize your strengths and encourage others to do the same!
When Life Gets Stressful….
It’s super hard to remain motivated and confident when you aren’t getting results as quickly as you would like AND you haven’t yet come close to your final goal. It’s hard to remain motivated when life is stressful.
Yet we rarely, if ever, PLAN how we will keep ourselves going when times get tough.
For instance, if you know May is a busy and stressful month at work, while not plan you diet and exercise program around that?
Why not realize that it will be impossible, or at least add way more stress, if you maintain the same program you’ve been on during that month?
Why not cut yourself some slack so that you don’t end up suffering a setback during that month EVEN if it means potentially slower progress?
Why not MODIFY your program so that it is EASIER during that month instead of trying to force a program that you won’t be able to maintain and will lead to binges?
Honestly there is no reason WHY NOT!
We can’t always force the same dedication to our goals. Sometimes we need to ease up a bit and give ourselves a break.
And if we PLAN to give ourselves breaks, we are way more likely to stick to our program overall and keep moving forward even if at a slower pace.
When you know life is going to get busy, plan your diet and exercise program around that.
Make meal prep easier. Or find some healthy dining out options. Your diet may not be as perfect as you usually like but it will be way better than flying by the seat of your pants when you are totally stressed out and hungry!
When you know you’ll be working long hours and all you’ll want to do afterwards is go home and skip your workout, why not plan in some shorter workouts?
Draft up a few quick workouts that will at least keep you active. Heck even make them home workouts so that you don’t have to make an extra trip to the gym when all you want to do is go home.
No these workouts may not keep you moving forward as quickly as you would like. And the modified program may not even be as perfectly tailored to help you reach your goals.
But it is still movement. It is still SOMETHING.
And SOMETHING is always better than NOTHING.
And even if you design workouts that have nothing to do with reaching your goal of a 300lbs squat, they will at least still keep you healthy and active and in the habit of working out.
They will keep your body moving and help you MAINTAIN most of the progress you’ve made.
Whereas if you just end up skipping workouts altogether because you are busy, stressed out and didn’t plan ahead, you will probably lose some of your progress and may end up getting injured because you try to jump right back in after not being consistent.
Sometimes you need to focus, not on moving forward, but MAINTAINING what you currently have as you take care of other areas of your life. And then once things are settled, you can get back to moving forward.
Life is about balance. Sometimes you can be focused on your health and fitness goals and other times they may have to take a backseat. But they NEVER have to be forgotten.
When you know things are going to get stressful, do you figure out a way to balance life with your health and fitness goals?
Do you PLAN AHEAD for stressful times?
Do you ADJUST your program to fit your life?
Don’t Give Up What You Want Most…
Yesterday I posted an article to Redefining Strength about life lessons you’ll learn from a healthy lifestyle.
I thought this was important to post because I see people every day learning more about themselves through exercise.
And the things they learn about themselves in the gym make them more confident and empowered in everyday life.
For the full article, click here.
Today, however, I just want to touch more on number 3:
“You learn to balance living in the moment with staying dedicated to long-term goals.”
You’ve probably all seen those fitspo that say:
While often the fitspos are being used to say not to cheat on your diet and eat out of stress, there is a good message underneath.
Sometimes you have to ignore immediate desires to achieve your long-term goals. Sometimes you can’t just indulge in every baked good people bring in to work. Sometimes you have to workout even when you are tired and stressed (and it will actually make you feel better in the long run!)
Sometimes you have to do a little work on your day off.
Sometimes you have to think long-term even when it is easy to be short-sighted.
HOWEVER, you can’t become so obsessed with your long-term goals that you don’t live life.
There has to be a balance between thinking long-term and getting to be spontaneous and indulge.
If you constantly restrict yourself and never get to be spontaneous, you probably won’t be able to stick to your program long enough to truly reach your long-term goals. Restriction and deprivation end up leading to binges (be them food binges or simply slacking on work and being a blob binges).
Too much long-term thinking and farsightedness can actually be a bad thing. Because you can’t put off immediate desires forever. And if you try to, most likely you will end up binging worse and falling off your program when a little indulgence could have kept you on track.
So cut yourself some slack every once in a while. Live in the moment.
You need little breaks from your goals – be them health and fitness goals or work goals.
Find a way to balance your goals with enjoying life!
Listen to Your Body – Eat When You Are Hungry
When you discuss making healthy lifestyle changes with people one question that always comes up is “How do I actually know when I’m hungry?”
It’s not as simple as it may seem!
This question comes up because all too often nowadays we eat out of boredom or stress or because it is fun and social and the food is delicious.
We aren’t really listening anymore to what our bodies NEED.
Many of us aren’t even really sure what true hunger feels like.
I found the best way to learn to eat only when I’m hungry is through intermittent fasting.
Through fasting I took the emphasis off of eating at certain times of days, off of having to eat certain meals even if I wasn’t hungry.
I gave myself time to truly get hungry. I also gave myself time to realize I wasn’t going to die if I didn’t eat immediately after the first hunger pangs.
Through fasting I was giving myself time to realize what hunger was. I wasn’t starving myself – I was still eating plenty of calories to support my daily activities; I was just eating them in a shorter period of time.
So through fasting I taught myself to understand when I was truly hungry.
But I was also teaching myself how to NOT eat when I wasn’t hungry.
It sounds like the same thing right? Eating when you are hungry and not eating when you aren’t hungry?
But it really isn’t.
Eating when you are hungry means you understand what hunger vs. boredom feels like.
But not eating when you aren’t hungry has everything to do with mentally overcoming the desire to eat when you know you are just bored….which is honestly probably the biggest battle.
Many of us know when we are stress eating…Yet all too often we still do it.
That is because not eating when we aren’t hungry isn’t as simple as eating when we are hungry!
Intermittent fasting also helped me with this because it forced me to really think about whether I was hunger and would want to break my fast or if I just wanted to eat for another reason.
Since I set out to not eat till a certain time, it gave me a goal, an incentive to not break my fast unless I truly was hungry.
It forced me to think and it gave me time to overcome my desire to eat even when I wasn’t truly hungry.
Now I only fast when I’m completely not hungry. Some days I don’t eat till the afternoon. Others I eat right upon waking. It all just depends on when I’m hungry.
Now I’m more in tune with my body.
I’m even more in tune with not eating when not hungry, although there are times when I most definitely slip up.
As I said before that is a mental and emotional battle that we all sometimes struggle with.
The key with it is to not get down on ourselves when we fail.
No matter how in tune you are with your body, you are going to occasional eat even when you aren’t hungry.
As I was thinking about eating only when you are hungry and searching for other opinions and articles, I stumbled onto Charlotte’s post over at The Great Fitness Experiment and loved the tips she gave the reader about NOT eating when you AREN’T hungry. It also really got me thinking about the difference between eating when hungry and not eating when you aren’t hungry.
While intermittent fasting helped me get more in tune with my body, it may not work for you. Check out some of her tips as well and start truly listening to what your body needs!
How did you help yourself become more in tune with your body?
Sidenote: Here is an interesting article on nutrition and sleep!
It’s Not About a RIGHT Answer – It’s About Asking WHY
In terms of dieting and working out there are a lot of RIGHT answers.
However, there is very little understanding about WHY certain things are correct.
Take for instance this question “How many exercises should be included in a workout?”
A correct answer could really be anything. You could say all you need is ONE exercise.
But you could also say you sometimes need 15.
It just all depends on what you are trying to accomplish with the workout.
Same goes for diet.
I’ve told you I’m not a huge fan of “Paleo” baked goods. And I have my reasons WHY.
And honestly it isn’t so much the baked goods as the fact that most people don’t really understand WHY they are even doing Paleo that irritates me.
Everything with diet and exercise sort of circles back to WHY with me.
Why are you doing something?
Do you understand the studies and rationale behind what you are doing?
Since there is no one right answer, you have to pick the right answer for YOU. And you can’t do that if you just choose something and follow it blindly.
You can only truly find the right thing for you if you understand the reasoning behind what you are doing – the WHY.
Nothing irritates me more than people who just follow the fads and never ask WHY.
Understand WHY you are doing something people! There are lots of things that can work and if you don’t understand why, you probably aren’t going to pick the best option for you. You are simply going to pick something you’ve heard works for others!
Heck you might even end up doing something that sets you back because you don’t understand the rationale behind it!
So this week, think about your program.
Do you understand WHY you are doing what you’re doing?
And ask yourself, “Is it really working?”
Because if it isn’t working and you don’t understand why you are doing what you’re doing, you may not know how to change things for the better.
So start doing some research. Figure out the WHY behind your program so you can change things as needed and start really progressing toward your goals.
Do you know WHY your program is set up the way it is? Is there a method and rationale behind it?
And is it helping you reach success?
Goal Setting and The 3 Words Project
Goal setting is essential to success.
But it’s boring.
And goals are easily forgotten in the heat of the moment.
So if goals are important, but easily forgotten, how do you make them something you can easily stay focused on day in and day out?
I thought this “3 words for 1 year” idea that I saw on Julia Ladewski’s blog was a great way to keep your goals easily in the forefront of your mind. (Here is her post and a post to the original 3 word project if you want to learn more.)
This 3 word project gives you an easy and quick reminder of what your goals are. It makes visualizing your goals on a weekly, daily basis easy and quick.
And I personal think it is super motivating.
What you do is basically pick 3 WORDS that represent your goals and will motivate you to keep working toward them even when the going gets rough. These 3 words can be a great VISUAL for you to even post somewhere. While no one wants to post long freaking sentences of SMART goals, posting a word or three really isn’t a big deal and is very easy to do (and a much prettier visual…not to mention quicker to read and refresh your memory and improve your mindset).
My three words are below.
I’ve picked words that will instantly remind me of my WHY, my reason for setting my goals in the first place. These words, for me, also instill the emotion I’m looking for when it comes to my goals. For example, the word pause makes me think to breathe deeply. It makes me think RELAX and that is a big part of the goal it is set to represent.
Anyway, give your goals some thought. What would your 3 words for this year be?
Pause – This word means a couple of different things to me this year, but they all boil down to RELAX. Pause and take a second to relax if stressed. Pause to take a second and step back and think. Paused to take a second to celebrate the small successes. Pause and enjoy life and don’t always get bogged down with moving right on to the next project. I like to keep going. I have trouble stopping at points…partly because I love what I do and partly just because I’m type A. But celebration, relaxation and shutting your brain off are super important components of not only a healthy lifestyle, but also of success. Take a second today and PAUSE!
Thought this was another great reminder!
Uncomfortable – It is strange to feel like I’m listing “uncomfortable” as a goal. But by using the word uncomfortable, I’m reminding myself that it is good to stretch my boundaries. That feeling “uncomfortable” is not only OK but GOOD. We’ve all see those motivational pictures and quotes stating that success happens outside your comfort zone, and it’s true. And while I find I’m good at tiptoeing around outside my comfort zone, I sometimes lack the will, the strength, to just throw myself in the deep end. So here is to throwing myself in the deep end and not fearing the unknown, the uncomfortable!
Love this quote.
STRONG – Strong is a super meaningful word to me. Each and every year I want to grow stronger, both physically and mentally. And while I don’t always want to get stronger in the same way, I do always want to be getting stronger, learning more, growing. And with that strength, I want to inspire others to find their strong. So to me strong means not only growing myself both inside and out of the gym, but also helping others to find their physical and mental strength – to become more empowered! This year is about remaining dedicated to becoming STRONGER.
What are your 3 words? And what do they mean to you? Share yours and inspire others!!!
Building Self-Confidence
The other day I had a great conversation with a few clients about self-confidence.
One of my clients made a comment that self-confidence comes from seeing or achieving success.
And my response was, “Yes, but you have to have self-confidence in order to succeed.”
She nodded her agreement.
But that then left us with the question of, “How do you become more self-confident to achieve success if success builds confidence and you aren’t yet confident?”
My answer, “You lie to yourself.”
Throw Back Thursday – What dreams have you forgotten?
Every so often, I like to look back over what I’ve accomplished.
It reminds me of how far I’ve come and inspires me to keep going.
And every so often when I look back, I remember goals and dreams that I may have had to let go by the wayside.
Goals and dreams that I actually still want to accomplish, but have for some reason had to put on hold.
Goals and dreams that if I ever want to accomplish I, at some point, need to buckle down and just do them because they aren’t going to accomplish themselves!
Finding Balance – Weekends and Binging
When we are around on the weekend, we tend to want to party and relax.
And food is easily right at hand.
Which is why so many of us tend to go crazy on the weekends and overeat.
The food is right there. And we associate “relaxing” and “partying” with food.
While I definitely agree with cheat days, going completely crazy over the weekend may just be holding you back from achieving your goals as quickly as you would like.
If we want to be successful, we need to be CONSISTENT.
Two days of complete binging is far from consistent. Two days of complete binging may cause you to lose gains you made during the week.
It will make you feel like you aren’t making any progress with your diet during the week. Or it may cause your progress to be way slower than it would be otherwise.
It may even cause you to give up on a week day program that truly is working!
Why put in hours of hard work during the week only to erase all your progress over the weekend?
Who would want to sabotage their own progress? To slow down their own results?
NO ONE!
Yet every weekend so many of us do.
We let “we are relaxing” or “partying” to become a complete and utter binge.
We make excuses about how we “deserve” the bad food for all of our hard work.
We completely forget about our goals for the satisfaction in the here and now.
And while we need to balance every day life, fun and our long-term goals that doesn’t mean we have to completely let go every weekend OR completely adhere to our perfectly clean and healthy eating habits.
Instead we need to find a BALANCE.
We have to balance our desire to “party” to “relax” and eat on the weekends with our need to stay consistent enough and remember our goals.
We need to balance our short-term desires with our long-term goals.
What matters most to you?
Remember that and find your balance this weekend!
Stay consistent…Not perfect…Just consistent!
Get The Support You Deserve – Get Rid Of The Crabs
This past weekend I attend this Fit Business Conference thanks to Dennis.
Bedros, the organizer of the event, started the event off with probably the best stories of the weekend…
A story about CRABS.
In his story he spoke of talking to a crab fisherman who had a bucket of crabs.
In the bucket were crabs piled on top of one another…And one single crab crawling to get out of the bucket.
As the crab grasped the rim in an attempt to make a getaway, Bedros said to the fisherman that it looked like one was going to make an escape.
The fisherman told him to just wait and see what happened.
Because, just as the crab looked like it was going to escape, the other crabs grabbed it and pulled it back down into the bucket.
Man Bicep 